Sometimes we have to say goodbye in order to move forward. I once again said goodbye to AS1. It was a tender moment where I again confessed that I became somewhat of a lunatic in love — although I didn’t say love. AS1 and I sat next to one another, and I placed my head on his chest as he once again let me take it like a true trooper. He told me that it was going to take more than a few days or weeks this time, but months before we would know where we were to land. And I felt like a fool because I just wanted everything to be OK, but it was never okay and that’s what brought me there in the first place. The only way I could regain my sanity was to say goodbye. Is there really such a thing as goodbye? It felt terribly bad to me, and he hugged me one (more) final time and I left. And then I cried. I’m glad I waited to cry.
I wonder: if a woman cries in cyberspace and no one is there to hear her, does she make a sound?
One of the best lines in Harold and Maude is when Maude says to Harold: "Harold, everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You just can’t let the world judge you too much."
So, is the moral of this story, for lack of a better ending — it’s okay to make an ass out of yourself as long as you can bend over backwards and lick your own wounds?
I’ll keep you posted…