I did manage to find a small apartment close to my daughter and our separation has worked out very well for us. It has helped us move beyond bitterness and resentment and presently, we are on our best behavior when we do see each other. We know that we have a very unusual situation, but we also realize that we are communicating better than ever now that we are not living together. Now we communicate via phone, email, and periodic visits and we are able to avoid controversial subjects that we argued about for years. Furthermore, some areas of discussion have been pre-determined as taboo. Most importantly, my husband has come full circle on certain issues that plagued our marriage for years and as a result, I have learned to forgive and forget.
Now we go out of our way to be respectful and considerate of one another. This separation has made us better people, helped us to grow in self awareness, and opened up possibilities for both of us to cultivate new interests as we settle into our new living situation. We don’t “hate” each other as we did before our separation, and this has freed us from holding on to negative feelings. We are both in a very good place emotionally and savoring the peace of mind that we sought. Thankfully, we avoided the trauma associated with a divorce.
As for me, I am very happy with my new life and a freedom that I have never experienced in my life, as I married young and moved directly from my mother’s home and watchful eye to a home with my husband. I cherish this new independence and have no intention of beginning a new life of compromise and commitment to anyone else in my life. I happen to still care for my husband because is a good man. He is and will always be a friend in time of need and someone I can depend on. The bond of love we shared keeps us connected and we have rekindled respect which we had long abandoned.
We don’t know what the future holds for us but we are both very satisfied with our present arrangement. Neither of us has the desire to remarry or see this in the foreseeable future. We both value our independence and can manage on our own. Despite all the bad times we had trying to hold on to our marriage, there has remained a mutual caring and concern between us. Being apart has given us the opportunity to appreciate the good times we had together and heal from the blows we inflicted on one another during the worst of times. Who knows? If time does heal all wounds, then this “New Age marriage” of ours may be the answer to how we might still be bonded somehow “till death do us part."