Inside the Mind of a Sex Addict

Weiner World: When one prominent urban professional got caught by his wife doing what Congressman Anthony Weiner was doing, he finally realized he had a problem. Sadly, that came at a cost

by Susan Avery • Digital Director
weiner on fire

Related: Breaking Up With My 37-Year-Old Man-Child

Related: Diary of a Kept Woman

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First Published June 22, 2011

Share Your Thoughts!


Liz 02.06.2013

I found this article after Googling 'sex addiction', after my boyfriend informed me that he is one and used it as the reason he broke up with me. I found the writer to be very sympathetic and self-aware--up until the point where he says that his wife had to recognize her part in it. BULLSH*&. He actually said before this point that he had chosen her in particular, due to particular qualities that appealed to him, to be a wife and mother. When he "discovers" that she isn't all he desires sexually, he uses it as an excuse for looking elsewhere. This is the ultimate in rationalizing, coming from someone who has not yet accepted responsibility. Incidentally, if someone gives you a sad story about being an addict because of their childhood trauma, but claims that they are "handling" it (like my boyfriend informed me on our second date), think very carefully about whether they are telling the truth. They may be lying either to you or to you and themself.

Sheryl Lipke07.27.2012

I believe that this is real, I live it almost daily. My boyfriend of 4.5 years is a recovering alcoholic, past drug user....he has been sober for quite some time. He does this !!!! He doesn't look at sex as intimacy, he looks at it as a conquest. He is addicted to the euphoria that comes with this addiction. The high is from the attention of the other women, the fact that he can have them just by talking to them, he looks at it as power.....control...and that he feels as if he is getting away with it. And when I have caught him in the past, the blame falls back on me and its my fault for noticing things and finding out and confronting him. I thought it was me, I went to a therapist, she said I was on with his behavior. She asks why i haven't left...and I tell her because I have faith that things will change....they have decreased, still there. I can't ask him questions or even look at his phone without him getting mad because he is doing things he.knows hurt me and are not right. At times I wish i had the nerve to leave him like the wife in the story did.....I just go with my blind faith and I.pray that he changes.

Curtis Neeley12.18.2011

Oh what a poor addicted guy. NO! What a crock of shit. "I do this and enjoy it - so I am addicted and it is NOT MY FAULT."
"Sex addiction" is entirely a HOAX.
It is simply infatuation with lust called a disease for an excuse.
The Internet should be regulated by the FCC and then no "alleged" adult will be utterly anonymous due to the importance of backing up the assertion that you are not a minor.

Monica 10.19.2011

Sex addicts are addicted not to the sex but the chemical reactions from it....

stefan Geroge08.23.2011

I think that an addiction to sex is not about addiction really. Sex is not an addictive substance like nicotine. It can chemically force you to seek after it. But here is the thing, if you have that sense that you are "not okay" and that doing X will make you "okay" (i.e. feel wanted, desired, loved). It is more about obsessively filling that hole in your life than it is about exactly what you are addicted to. It's not about the sex, its about fulfillment and people having a skewed sense of reality that sex is their only way to fulfillment.

Adam Green06.30.2011

Obviously excellent view points!!! I just catch the point "How exactly did you go after sex online?". Hopefully it'll be useful topics inside the Mind of a Sex Addict. Thanks!
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I give this man a standing Ovation. This county needs to hear more about Sex addiction and what it can do to a family. My son got caught looking at internet porn. He will have to pay the price for his crime in Prison. What I don't think is right is that he will have to registry as a Sex Offender when he get out. I think what we need is for this addiction not prison.
I would love to get this word out more. Not all Sex offender are bad people, and the more people read or hear about it then maybe we can get some changes done. Thank you MORE for this story.

David Warn06.27.2011

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I am surprised that women still see this as some aberration. This has been happening since the beginning of time. Monogamy is fiction. This man is not a sex addict - he is normal, yet society treats him as a freak. There is an unnatural emphasis on monogamy. It is not natural nor is it the norm. Hello?

Fred Brenson06.25.2011

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Jamie Miles06.23.2011

I think he's brave for sharing this (even if he remains anonymous) but I wish he had the courage to tell his wife about his behaviors before getting caught. Then I would be more convinced he loves his wife enough to share his weakness with her and seek help.


He blames his problems on "male frailty"? Really? Ugh. While I appreciate his candor, this guy doesn't seem to take enough responsibility for his own actions.

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