I dislike that word spirituality because it is so greatly misunderstood and unpleasantly loaded for many people. But there are things I need to say in this article that require its use, so — in the hope that I have not already lost a number of readers — let me start by defining it. I do not mean religion; all experiences of spirituality, whether experienced in a group or not, are deeply personal, whereas religions are institutions with a certain amount of dogma. While dogma can be interesting, it rarely facilitates a deep individual understanding of truth, and it sometimes discourages the seeking of truth.
Although spirituality is based on the belief that there is much more to reality than meets the eye, it is akin to philosophy. If philosophy is a study of the nature of reality, then spirituality is a study of the nature of reality based on the premise that there is some force at work that is much greater than the physical laws we constantly see in action around us. However, that understanding varies enormously from individual to individual because the nature of reality encompasses such vastness that there are a million different paths and angles from which to view it. Very few people manage to investigate very many in one lifetime, and besides, our physical brains are not equipped to encompass and grasp the true vastness. Indeed, it might be a prescription for a person who is “spiritually advanced” that she has grasped a method of understanding that is far beyond the abilities of the brain.
This greater force I have referred to above is often called “God.” I don't use this word as it is far too loaded. If I had to define it, I would say that everything and everyone is God; it is the energy of life-force itself. Energy is everything, everything is energy, which can be more or less intense, more or less concentrated. Now let's define spirituality as the study of the nature of reality with the basic premise that everything is manifested from energy; everything is energy in one form or another. Most of us will find that to be a concept that has been made acceptable through the study of physics. People assume that spirituality is about the study of spirit, which could be defined as that energetic part of ourselves that has not coalesced in physical form, or that is left after the physical form has died. Philosophy could be defined as questioning why energy takes a particular form in a particular situation, whereas many forms of spirituality (shamanism, for instance) are about learning how to consciously work with energy. My interest in spirituality stems from my belief that understanding our place in the cosmos and learning how to work with energy — which encompasses a huge range of activities — can make us much happier beings.
Now: sexuality. I consider sex to be a very shamanic activity because it is about working, or rather, playing with energy. It's fair to define sex as concentrated energy, which, when it flows through us, gives rise to very pleasant sensations – that might by some people be called ecstasy or bliss. You'd think from this description, that we would all want to be having sex all the time. Yet many people, women especially, have placed a lot of restrictions (conscious and unconscious) on allowing sexual energy to move freely. Is it simply socially imposed conditioning, or does it go deeper? Do we have the same ambivalence about allowing other kinds of energy to flow? I would say we do, and that is a problem we need to address, because if we want to shape energy into forms of our own choice (that's what manifestation is) then we first need to allow it to flow. Perhaps allowing a flow of energy is not as simple as it sounds – and perhaps there is something very profound to look at there.