Divorced People Need Friends Too

Should friends be forced to choose sides in a divorce?

by Lois Tarter • Divorce Blogger and Author of “The Divorce Ritual”

As divorce rates grow higher in the world today, you can’t forget about children.  It’s important to provide consistency for them.  If your children and your friends’ children liked to play together before the divorce, then it is important to try to keep your friendships just as strong as it was before.  Divorce is hard enough for kids to adjust to and you and your friends need to consider their needs and feelings.  Keep the friendships moving forward and have the kids see each other on a normal basis.  Loving and uncomplicated should be the vibe in front of your children and your friends’ children.     

Another way to help ease the transition for everyone is a divorce announcement sent out by you and your ex.  Whether it’s a mass email, e-card or a card put in the mail, let them know that you appreciate their friendship over the years and will continue to appreciate it as you both head into the next phase of your lives.  Your roles as parents and friends should not change even though your domestic life is.  In fact, you have both probably realized in this divorce process, that family and friends are at the top of the support ladder 

A great way to kick things off in your life now that you’re single is a divorce party.  You celebrated your marriage, which was a monumental moment in your life.  Isn’t a divorce just as monumental?  It marks a re-birth of you and it’s important to celebrate that moment in some way.  Inviting your friends to the event will let them know that you have moved on.  I have even heard of couples hosting a joint divorce party.  If you and your ex are on good terms, maybe consider throwing one together.  That might be the ultimate way to show your friends that the side they should be taking is no side.

Photo courtesy Belushi/Shutterstock

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