My masseuse started telling me how her boyfriend had broken up with her. I replied that I was very sorry but I would love to lie quietly and focus on the massage. She stopped talking but spent the rest of the hour sighing loudly. Should I have told her supervisor?

 You did the right thing. Just because your masseuse has a captive audience—you—doesn’t mean you have to take it lying down. Silence is the industry standard, so you were totally within your rights, says Samantha Cooper, spa director of Canyon Ranch in Lenox, Massachusetts. She points out that you tried to make it clear that this was your time to decompress and you preferred to avoid conversation. If this happens again and the masseuse continues to talk, she suggests you be polite but direct. “You can say, ‘You know, I would really appreciate silence.’ That word indicates no talking, muttering or even sighing,” she says. “If it doesn’t work, then yes, ask to speak to the manager—not afterward but right away. You should never feel obligated to continue a service if you’re not enjoying it. Or, the next time you book, state clearly that you prefer quiet. The person at the desk will note that in the appointment calendar.”

Can you settle once and for all whether I should tip the owner of the hair salon if he or she does my hair?

“It’s not necessary,” says Gibson. “It is nice to tip at holiday time, though, to show that you appreciate the service you’ve gotten throughout the year.” You needn’t come up with a year’s worth of tips rolled into one, but it’s not the time to Scrooge out either. Gibson, ever the diplomat, says whatever you feel com­fortable giving will be appreciated. But keep in mind that in tough times,salon owners make sure their employees are paid first, even if it means cutting back on their own salaries. (And giving some homemade cookies wouldn’t hurt.)

My friend has become a Botox addict. Seriously, she looks as though she’s been in a deep freeze. How can I stage an intervention?

Unlike other forms of needle addiction, Botox is not life threatening, so ixnay on an intervention. As long as your friend is happy with her looks, it’s not your place to say anything. The only exception: if (and only if) your friend asks what you think of the work she’s having done. But tread carefully. “Put the onus on the doctorrather than your friend,” recommends Brandt. (For the record, this is the first time we’ve ever heard that from a doctor!) “You could say something like, ‘I’ve seen other people who use Botox, and they look quite natural. Do you think your doctor is doing a little too much? You might look even prettier if the Botox was a little more understated.’ ” As Brandt points out, no one can resist the promise of looking prettier. Worried about your own needle addiction? One warning sign that you’ve gone a vial too far: Your forehead is shiny, and your lower lids have dropped. There, we told you. 

My mother’s eyesight isn’t what it used to be, and her makeup is beginning to look Kabuki. How can I tell her without hurting her feelings?

A good start would be to banish the word Ka-buki from your vocabulary. Chances are the heavy hand your mother uses while applying makeup is due to a combination of dimming vision and products that are no longer appropriate. Luckily, both problems are easily remedied. “Why not give your mom a lighted mirror with 10X magnification?” suggests Sandy Linter, makeup artist for Lancôme and coauthor of Make Up Wake Up. “Instead of criticiz-ing her, tell a little white lie and say you just got one for yourself and fell in love with it.” One to try: the Naturally by Kingsley Bathroom Mirror ($12; target.com), which has a suction cup on the back so Mom can stick it to the mirror above her vanity. Linter also suggests adding a goody bag with a set of neutral eyeshadows, a bronzer that won’t go orange and a neutral lip liner to stop color from bleeding. Some of our favorites: Bobbi Brown’s Tortoise Collec­tion Eye Palette ($60; bobbi​brown.com); LancômeStar Bronzer ($36.50; ­lancome-usa.com) and CoverGirl Lip Liner in Seduce ($7; drugstores). Another great fix: Makeup maven Laura Geller is a big fan of special magnifying glasses with a flip-down lens that lets you see clearly through one eye while you apply mascara to the other. Geller’s pick: Kikkerland Makeup Glasses ($5; ­kikkerland.com). Then retool a few of your mom’s favorite products. “If she’s been wearing the same coral lipstick since 1960, buy her a creamy, toned-down formula in the same color family and tell her it is the updated version,” Geller says. “And whatever you do, never say, ‘You look old-fashioned!’ ”

I don’t think my sister realizes she has a faint mustache. Should I say something?

Think of this as a “spinach in teeth” situation:Wouldn’t youwant to know? “Be straightforward but keep it light,” says Cindy Barshop, owner of the Completely Bare salon and one of the Real Housewives of New York. “You could say, ‘You look like you have a little dust on your lip. The hair probably got a little darker because we’re not in the sun this time of year.’ You can add—whether it’s true or not—‘I had the same thing, and I waxed it.’ ” So what does this queen of bare recommend? “If facial hair is very coarse and dark, opt for laser treatments. If the hair is medium to light, wax. Then, between waxes, use an over-the-counter hair-inhibiting lotion to fendoff regrowth longer. And stay away from bleach. You’ll just end up with a blonde mustache instead of a dark mustache.” Try: Completely Bare Don’t Grow There Body Balm, a hair-­inhibiting lotion that can be used on the face as needed ($38; completely​bare.com). Barshop’s favorite secret weapon, though, is a good old-­fashioned razor. Say what? She says it’s perfect for quick fixes and in her experience won’t make the hair grow back thicker. Shaving also helps treatment products penetrate better, because it takes off the top, dead layer of skin. “I shave my face even where I don’t have hair,” says Barshop.