How to Date After Divorce

Pat yourself on the back for taking this brave step toward your new life

by Lois Tarter

Dating is an experience that can be fun and exciting, but also taxing and disappointing. As a recent divorcee, you might find that some  aspects of your life that weren't there in your twenties (like children) can further complicate the process. But fear not.  Below I've outlined six simple rules to keep in mind as you slowly transition back into this new world of dating.

This Is Not Child’s Play

As a single mother, you want to consider your children when you begin dating. There’s no need to introduce your children to a new man unless you think he’s a keeper. A breakup for you will be hard, but it will also be difficult for your kids if they get attached to him. So make sure you’re sincere about this guy and he has future potential, because you need to protect yourself and your family.

Make Sure He's Like-Minded

For this next stage of your life, try to find someone who has mutual interests. If he is a parent just like you, that could be a good fit.  While it may be more difficult for you both to get together as busy single parents who are trying to balance it all, remember that good things come to those who wait. You will surely have a lot in common as parents and a mutual understanding of each other’s priorities. 

Bring Your Own Money

Chivalry is not dead, but it can be missing in this day in age. Many men who date nowadays like to go Dutch Treat. So be prepared for the possibility of splitting the bill in half.  I suggest you play—or, rather, pay—it by ear.

Be Your Own Driver

On a first date, it’s best to meet the guy at a specific location. You should drive yourself because if you don’t like him, you may want to leave early. Being the captain of your ship will also put you more at ease during the date. 

Try Online Dating

If you’re dating in 2012, then you have considered online dating. With busy schedules, it’s not easy to get together with friends and hang out at a bar or restaurant. Online dating is a way to meet people more quickly and, some would say, more efficiently.  Just be careful and make sure the guys are who they say they are. Look for photos, make sure they’re really single and ask a lot of questions. This is helpful to both of you.

For more post-divorce dating tips, pick up Lois Tarter’s new book, The Divorce Ritual, by clicking here.


Single? Check out More dating here.


Need more help finding a date or picking a restaurant? Check out the best dating apps to download, now!


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