The Challenge: In teams, create five cohesive looks and produce a fashion show to showcase that collection. Three of the ensembles must incorporate prints designed by your team. Make it work! The Drama: This week, harmony triumphed over discord as Team Shiny Happy People Holding Hands sailed past Team We Hate Each Other for the easiest Project Runway victory in history. Everything on Team Happy (Anya’s team) was coming up roses: their concept—“inkblots”—was strong, the prints they created were stellar, their egos were kept in check, and their designs were fabulous. Meanwhile, on the dark-and-broody side of the workroom, Joshua M. and Bert bickered about Bert’s foul mouth (I think he said “friggin’”), Becky sulked about her dowdy skirt, Kimberly resigned herself to the ugly, and Laura rightly bemoaned their ill-conceived “nuts and bolts” concept. The messiah Tim Gunn tried to save Team Train Wreck by ordering them to gather in a prayer circle, hold hands, and vow to communicate better. But the “kumbaya moment” was too little too late. It did ease some of the friction on the team, but it didn’t make their clothes any prettier, and as we know, virtue sans beauty is hardly virtue at all. Ultimately, Becky “I’m not dowdy” Ross got the boot because her look was dow—I mean boring—and as Michael Kors put it, “It’s not Project Seamstress.” The Winner: Anya Ayoung-Chee Other Looks We Liked: Viktor’s evening gown, Anthony Ryan’s spunky day dress. Quotes of the Night: “It was like a hooker convention coming home after a late night.” —Michael Kors spots a theme for Team Train Wreck’s hooker-parade collection. “Not a lot of women want to have ‘canceled’ on their crotch.” —Michael Kors noting the unfortunate but prophetic placement of text on the skirt made by Becky, who was ultimately canceled from the show, crotch included. Want to own something from tonight’s episode? Check out www.projectrunway.com to bid on the original garments from this episode and to stock up on all your Project Runway needs.
The Challenge: Create an avant-garde look inspired by a painting that you produce with a high-school art student. Make it work. The Drama: Tonight the designers were given license to thrill with experimental looks from the farthest corners of their imagination. Turns out, Farthest Corners of the Imagination is not a place all the designers are comfortable spending their time. Some dared to dream, but the Talented Mr. Olivier was all hand-wringing and head-scratching, and in the end he chose to be a spectator from his isle of comfort instead of unleashing his crazy to win the challenge. At least his lifeless, drapey concoction resulted in Michael Kors coining a catchy term for his flatline aesthetic: valium fashion. One contestant who was comfortable traveling to Zanytown was Bert. He surprised us not only with his wacky, hot mess of a design (booty-enlarging riding pants with a jumbled heap of pastel, geometrical pincushions sewed on the breast region), but with his newfound can-do attitude. His sudden likability merits a moratorium on last-week’s Bert the Brat nickname, and prompts me to say this: I’m confused. Bert, you were so great in the first episode; remember I called you a sweetheart? We had a good thing going. But you were insufferable with Viktor and Anthony Ryan, so I gave up. I’m thrilled you’re emerging from your curmudgeon cocoon, but will it last? Joshua C. (Mr. Bowtie) went home for the second time last night for failing to be hungry like the wolf (in his painting). The Winner: Anthony Ryan Auld Other Looks We Liked: Joshua M. and Anya Quotes of the Night: “I just hope it doesn’t look like a House of Dereon dress.” —Viktor expressing his deepest, darkest, and pretty well-founded fears about his Beyoncé-compatible garment. “It looked like something a Teletubby would wear to a party.” —Michael Kors discovering a target demographic for Bert’s pin-cushion faux pas. Want to own something from tonight’s episode? Check out www.projectrunway.com to bid on the original garments from this episode and to stock up on all your Project Runway needs.
The Challenge: In teams, design three cohesive looks to complement Heidi’s line of New Balance sneakers using denim, suede, or both. Make it work! The Drama: As we learned from the stilt-walker challenge two weeks ago, teamwork has a way of turning Project Runway contestants into whiny prima donnas, especially if your name is Bert, and tonight was no exception. Sourpuss Bert (henceforth referred to as Bert the Brat) was paired with Anthony Ryan and Laura—who came off looking like UN-class diplomats in comparison. In the span of a few hours, he managed to aggravate Anthony Ryan to the point of saying, “I haven’t gotten this pissed since I had cancer.” Way to go, Bert the Brat! Meanwhile, Joshua M. was hard at work making Becky cry (he called her “dowdy”!) and refusing to allow her any creative input in their team’s designs, all the while worshipping at fellow teammate Anya’s feet. In the end, B the B’s vitriol got the best of Anthony Ryan, who landed in the bottom two with a pair of baggy shorts that miraculously gave his model both camel toe and camel butt (seriously, what the what?!), and team captain Joshua M. proved he knows whom to kiss up to; Anya’s funky maxi dress won him a top spot. A bright spot in tonight’s otherwise angsty episode was the return of Mr. Bowtie himself, Joshua C., thanks to Cecilia’s abrupt self-elimination. I’ll miss her sometimes-neat designs, but honestly, I missed his bowties and sunny disposition more. And a fond farewell goes to Danielle, who went home with a fatal case of chiffon addiction. The Winner: Viktor Luna, “Joshua McKinley” (aka Anya) Other Looks We Liked: Kimberly’s sporty-chic shorts-jacket combo. Quotes of the Night: “The Klum of Doom” —Josh C. coins a lovable nickname for Heidi. “You have achieved the impossible.” —Michael Kors pondering the otherworldly offensiveness of Anthony Ryan’s camel-butt shorts. Want to own something from tonight’s episode? Check out www.projectrunway.com to bid on the original garments from this episode and to stock up on all your Project Runway needs.
The Challenge: Design a day-to-night ensemble for Project Runway überjudge and fashion editor extraordinaire Nina Garcia. She doesn’t like loud colors, patterns, voluminous silhouettes, or pleats. Make it work! The Drama: No-Nonsense Nina had the designers shaking in their boots this week as she provided them with a steady flow of dream-crushing feedback on their designs in the workroom. Her input wasn’t all negative, but let’s just say “Do we have a plan B?” and “No” were her most-used phrases. One designer who took the critique to heart was sewing savant Anya, who came back from Mood with a bag full of loud printed mustard-colored fabric, as if she was planning to combine all the things Nina dislikes into one monumentally unappetizing pièce de résistance. When Nina raised an eyebrow and asked her about a plan B, Anya scrapped her vision and dyed the mustard to a deep brown. Her quick change paid off, and her playful Nina-friendly jumpsuit landed her in the top three along with Viktor and Kimberly. The award for Lovable Loose Cannon of the night goes to Nina’s boss at Marie Claire, Joanna Coles, who was bubbling over with deliciously quirky barbs and commentary at the judges’ panel. Joanna, if you’re in need of a BFF, I’m available. And the award for Biggest Letdown goes to Cecilia, who nearly got sent home for designing a drab dress that Nina called “mousey and mousey.” Ultimately, though, it was Cecilia’s BFF Julie who got the ax for designing what Joanna dubbed a “droat.” Maybe it’s a Colorado thing. The Winner: Kimberly Goldson Other Looks We Liked: Anya’s jumpsuit and Becky’s paint-splatter dress. Quotes of the Night: “At some point, Anya’s lack of sewing skills is going to show.” —Becky Ross’s first “Oh Snap!” moment. “I couldn’t let you be in the office in that dress. It wouldn’t be fair to you and it really wouldn’t be fair to us.” —Joanna Coles demonstrating her commitment to justice and propriety for all mankind as she responds to Cecilia’s drab mousey-mousey smock and forbids Nina to wear it to work.
The Challenge: Collaborate with a randomly selected partner to create couture-chic outfits for stilt-walkers. Good luck with that. The Drama: Tonight’s episode proved that there’s only one thing in the world more difficult than designing extremely long clothes that don’t look ridiculous: doing so with a partner. For Viktor and Bert, the order was simply too tall. Viktor called Bert an obnoxious know-it-all; Bert said Viktor needed to read some books. The only thing these begrudging teammates seemed to agree on was that their gargantuan renaissance-fair-themed gown was a bust. And their instincts were right—the judges hated it. Since neither designer claimed responsibility for the design, the conception and existence of the gaudy gown remains a mystery. It seems the Ghost of Enormous Dresses That Resemble Curtains assembled the whole thing while Bert and Viktor weren’t looking. Team Renaissance Curtain lucked out since Fallene and Bryce’s boring black tutu ensemble offended the judges even more than the upholstery dress. Fallene, who was plagued with a debilitating case of self-doubt for the whole episode, was sent home, and even though Josh and Julie sent a bedazzled matador jacket and a ten-mile-long seizure-inducing pair of pants down the runway, the judges made the right decision. The Winner: Laura took the top spot with the dazzling red gown (pictured above) that she created with emerging frontrunner Anthony Ryan. Well played, team. Other Looks We Liked: Anya and Oliver’s artsy goddess gown and Becky’s tailored Jetsons jacket. Quotes of the Night: “Queen Victoria was in mourning for fifty years, I don’t think that’s a sexy direction I would like to go into.”—Bert demonstrating that he knows who Queen Victoria is and Viktor doesn’t. Take that, Viktor. “Maybe he just doesn’t know how to say ‘I don’t like it.’” —Anya realizing that when Tim Gunn stares blankly at your design, furrows his brow, and says, “That’s unexpected,” it means, “My god, I’m horrified.” Want to own something from tonight’s episode? Check out www.projectrunway.com to bid on the original garments from this episode and to stock up on all your Project Runway needs.
Our favorite fashion foursome (Heidi, Nina, Michael, and Tim) is back for season nine of Proje
Every year around this time, when summer casts its sunny spell and beckons me to come out and play,
Occasionally a garment is so powerful that it transforms its wearer into something entirely new;
I don’t know who’s in their Rolodex, but goats are getting great PR lately. Once overshadowed by their bovine brethren, goats and their almighty utters are now stealing the spotlight and changing the face of dairy. And cheese is only the beginning; from goat-milk lotions to ice cream to shampoo for your dog—there’s a goat-milk product for everyone. Check out what this bearded barnyard superstar has to offer and learn why we’ve gone gaga for goats.
Like most children of the 1980s, I watched the Star Wars movies a lot growing up.