The Value Of An Ex

You never know when an ex-husband, an ex-boyfriend just might offer something you need.

by Diane Karagienakos • Member { View Profile }


Reason #58 to stay in good graces with your exes (if/when that's possible): You never know when they're gonna come in handy. Even better, you never know in what way. For example, I recently got an email from an ex of many, many years ago. Our lives are on opposite sides of the world now (literally), but we do check in from time to time. In this day and age, usually in the form of a Facebook comment.

In this email, my ex, a very talented writer, details a dream he had of me — a very sexually explicit dream. Let me tell you, he should seriously be writing erotica (yes, I told him so). Even if I weren't the inspiration for this dream/short story, I'd still find it HOT. And also, perfectly timed.

I needed this. My most recent ex made me feel like a pariah in a fishnet body stocking the last time I tried to seduce him. It was surreal (and needless to say, humiliating). And it shook my confidence and self-image. Things with which I don't usually struggle too much.

Granted, this email came from the man with whom I had the most incendiary sexual chemistry on the planet. Obviously, incendiary sexual chemistry wasn't enough to keep us together, but it's funny how that chemistry still has an effect. Oh him and his subconscious, and by proxy, on me and my self-esteem; by him sharing this dream with me. And reminding me that no, I am definitely NOT a pariah when in a fishnet body stocking.

This is just one example. There are other ways in which other exes still play a part in my life. Just by being true to who they are and the character that attracted me to them in the first place. If I could bundle each of their unique, individual characters — the pieces of them that keep them in my life — into one man, he would be the perfect specimen. For me. But what fun would that be? Who wants flawless? I certainly can't offer flawless back. Flaws are good. They give us heart and make us vulnerable and more appreciative of others' love. Now that's value.

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