Did I just say that out loud…or was I simply thinking about it? This might sound “crazy”…but…we talk to ourselves every minute of every day. We have voices in our head that help us make decisions about relationships, named Money, Love, Trust, Risk, Success and Failure. These voices are created from pieces of other people’s experiences. They often pop up, uninvited, from our Past. Their names are Parents,Teachers, Friends and Associates…and my personal favorite…Absolute Strangers. All of our voices try to make up our ultimate decisions.
As human beings our thinking, feelings and actions are wonderfully complicated, confusing and multi-dimensional. When we can learn to identify the voices in our head then we may listen and ultimately let them go, as we embark on the journey to live in the state of constant possibility.
In order to create limitless possibilities, we must first examine these Voices in our Head.
These voices are ways of thinking or programs that occur automatically without conscious thought. The situations that shape these voices can begin with something as simple as a parent saying, “We can’t afford it.” As a child, in that exact moment a lack of money voice is created. Since our beliefs and behaviors are still being developed we accept this situation as reality. However this is only our perception of reality. These voices become a self-fulfilling prophecy for us as they shape the way we view the world, ourselves and others.
Of course, not all of these voices are detrimental to us. Many actually serve vital functions. For example, if a child is told that she CAN do anything, they may develop a success voice. On the flip side, if a child is told that she CAN’T do something, she develops a failure voice.
Our voices/programs operate like two opposing forces. Picture a boxing match in your head! These opposite voices may appear to speak in each ear, fighting with each other…as you move toward your success. What are YOUR VOICES saying?
Do these phrases sound familiar?
“I don’t deserve that promotion.” OR “I earned that promotion!”
“Who do I think I am? I can’t have that!” OR “I am so worthy of that!”
“I can’t trust others, I’ve been hurt before.” OR “It’s all about chances! GO for it.”
“What will they think of me? OR “I will live a better life without seeking others’ approval!
When the voices are boxing in our heads…we must learn to CHOOSE which voice is the champion and which one is “knocked out.” What is the voice in your head saying to you?
When given a life choice, you may want to HEARthe voice that says “G0!” but we often listen to the voice that says “Stop!”
After almost two decades of motivating and transforming clients’ attitudes and perspectives, I have discovered that failure seldom stops people. It’s the FEAR of failure that stops people. The closer that we get to what we want the more anxious and hesitant we become. This slows us down when we need to speed up. This brings our energy to new lows when it needs to be at new highs. It is counter productive. It’s exactly the time when most people stop, quit or retreat. FEAR of success is equally damaging as we worry and wonder about what the future holds…that all the voices take over and we retreat back into our comfort zone. Oh, by the way, that means we STOP when we need to get GOING.