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What to Expect from Your Man at 40, 50, 60

A tongue-in-cheek review of the stages of man.

by Brian Alexander

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What He’ll Deny

At 40: That the tribal tattoo he got at 20 makes him look like a tool.

At 50: That he’s reached the last rung on his personal-success ladder.

At 60: That there’s such a thing as dad jeans and that any jeans worn by a 60-year-old man probably qualify.
 

 

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com / Andrew Lever

Favorite Body Part (His)

At 40: Penis.

At 50: Penis.

At 60: Penis.
 

 

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com / Aleksey Patsyuk

Favorite Body Part (Yours)

At 40: Breasts.

At 50: Legs.

At 60: Brain.
 

 

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com / Bananaboy

What He Wants for Christmas

At 40: The Star Wars action figures his mom tossed years ago.

At 50: A Ducati Superbike 848 EVO.

At 60: His first grandchild.
 

 

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com / Faiz Zaki

How He Secretly Sees Himself

At 40: Still got it.

At 50: Pretty sure he’s lost it.

At 60: Had it, lost it, found something new.
 

 

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com / Goodluz

Favorite Sexual Role Play

At 40: You’re the MILF, he’s the paperboy coming to collect.

At 50: You’re the cheerleader, he’s the school guidance counselor, and boy, do you need a letter of recommendation!

At 60: You’re Christine Lagarde, administering the pill that will improve his economic indicator.

 

Brian Alexander is a coauthor of The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex and the Science of Attraction. Click here to buy.

 

Next: How to Grow Old Like a French Guy

 

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Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com / Danny E Hooks

Originally published in the October 2012 issue

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