We Hear You! Letters from Our April 2012 Issue

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MORE • Editors
julianna margulies image

Nice that you included a brief item about South Carolina governor Nikki Haley. I am a liberal (on most issues), but as the mainstream media are always being accused of having an anti-conservative bias, it is good to see something that disproves this.

“Second Acts” is always one of my favorite features. I share the joy these women feel at discovering something that brings them happiness in midlife. I have been fortunate in finding something that I enjoy doing—customer service for a government agency—and in getting to work with a mostly female staff (the manager and all of the supervisors are women) who are smart and nice people to have as coworkers.

Regarding “Was I a Good Mother?,” the question I have to ask is (of course!) “Was I a Good Father?” Well, Lesley, my bright and beautiful daughter (Jessica) died of cancer in 2010 at the age of 25. I believe she would have given me a passing grade except I know she wished I had not had almost nonstop arguments with her mother about spending. Jessica’s mother (Carol) died in February 2010, just eight months before Jessica. J told me that she could not cry when her mother passed because she did not have a single happy memory of her. Sad; I wish it weren’t so, but it was true.

The article about Julianna Margulies was typical of More’s celebrity profiles: interesting and informative. Margulies seems to be a very likable person.

As a widower who lost a child, I now live alone as does Jenny Allen (“The Richness of Empty Evenings”), and I too have no reason to go home after work or on Saturday afternoons after I have had lunch at the mall and have been to the library. “And now I had a minute. I had many minutes, entire evenings of minutes.” It IS a kind of gift, but in my case a bittersweet one. I enjoyed the essays in “Making Time for What Matters”; sweet and thoughtful, all of them.

This is getting to be way too long! Something that comes with having so much time. Let me conclude by saying that I liked the article on Hillary Clinton. I have long admired her intelligence and her commitment to trying to make the world a better place, especially for women and children, but ultimately for us all.

You are doing a good job, Lesley, and you can be proud of your magazine.
—Roger Creps, Cleveland, OH

Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the photo on page 42 (“The 13 Best Hair Tips You'll Ever Read,” March). I laughed out loud—brilliant!
—Susan Willats, Felton, CA

I have enjoyed your letters from the editor in the past. I was taken a back by this one, though. For a magazine aimed at women over 40, I was surprised to see you write, “Then all at once our children allow us to pee alone.” It sounded crass, unsophisticated and mostly juvenile. I think we would have gotten the point if you had said “. . . allow us to be in the bathroom alone.” The language of our culture has been on a slippery slope for a long time now, and I’m not sure your comment helped any.
—Sue Gilgen

Glad you have taken time to “smell the flowers” and have discovered gardening
and witnessing the hibiscus . . . I usually count birds on the wing or on the telephone wire on my way to work . . . am a “birder.”
—Charlotte Chickering, Sunshine State

First Published March 27, 2012

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Comments

04.22.2012

"Broke but no Broken" / May 2012
Upon reading Corbyn Hightower's piece lamenting her family's loss of a five figure per month income, I have to say I'm dismayed, for both her and for all of us.
Ten years ago as I recovered from illness, my daughter and I lived on a fixed SSI income of $500 per month. We had no television, could not afford to eat outside of our kitchen, but subsidized housing make it possible for us to live in a not-so-pretty, but safe neighborhood and afford the use of public transit.
Four years later and recovered, I was able to secure a better job, move to a larger apartment in a very nice neighborhood where we could have afforded to own a car, but instead opted to keep our lifestyle simple and use transit and a car sharing option available to us. We lived very well on $2,000 a month and counted ourselves fortunate and happy.
Two years ago a very close friend went through a job loss similar to Ms. Hightowers and lamented that she could no longer maintain a $5,000 per month lifestyle as a single person.
I do not understand why Americans feel they have a right to complain so loudly about the loss of decadent, excessive lifestyles while others live with hunger and want, or simply find contentment with just enough. Perhaps the economic losses some of us are experiencing now are destiny teaching us a valuable less that may result in actual happiness that is earned, not purchased.


Going back over some back issues I discovered I did not read the article Hillary's Secret Weapon. Not only did I see Hillary in a new light, I discovered a new writer. I like Lisa DePaul's style of writing. I hope to be reading more of her articles from here on out in your magazine. Please pass this on that to her as well. Thank you.
Marcia Lobby Lee

FWDSA 04.13.2012

I will keep this months issue because of the Making Time for What Matters. The articles by the four women are good to go back to on a regular basis. My favorite line was, "This is a silly way to spend a lovely life."

Susannah bishop04.07.2012

I have never written to a magazine before, but as I finished reading the story of Hillary Clinton I have to comment. What an outstanding story about our Secretary of State! Not only did it capture what Ms Clinton is trying to do for women's rights, and how hard she works for this cause, but also it captured the essence of the person she is. How refreshing to read such a positive article. Thank you More magazine for showing us so much More about Hillary than we ever knew.

Sharon DeLay03.31.2012

I'm a huge fan of your magazine, but lately it seems like I'm reading Glamour, not a magazine targeted to women my age. Julianna Margulies is lovely, but to put her on the cover over Hillary Clinton? I simply can't wrap my mind around that particular decision. When you think of substance, who could be more substantive than Hillary Clinton? Bad choice, More!

Judith Ruderman03.28.2012

I just finished Barbara Graham's magnificent memoir in the April issue of More and wanted to write in appreciation. The essay was so beautifully written, which in and of itself is a gift; but in addition, the subject was so sensitively handled. I suspect that I related intimately to the essay because I moved my difficult mother near me for five years before she died. She was not elegant or wealthy, like Ms. Graham's mother, but she took great pains with her appearance and we had our many years of a difficult relationship. It is 9 years since she passed away, and I think of her all the time, with affection and, yes, with love.
Thank you so much for such a moving memoir,
Judith Ruderman
Durham NC


Over 15 years ago, as a mother of two young boys, I remember the routine of meeting and striking up casual conversations with other mothers in our Danforth-area schoolyard as we waited for our children to finish their activities and meander their way home with us. There was a mother I particularly remember, for her smile, her style, her smarts, and for her beautiful daughter, who had Down Syndrome. I remember being inspired by her and thinking, “Wow – there’s someone who’s really got it together. She’s a successful writer who works at home, and a mother who is therefore available to tend to her daughter and give her the support she needs, and it’s obviously all working – I have never seen her, or her daughter, without smiles on their faces.”
While we moved from the neighbourhood many years ago, I was always excited to come across Madeleine Greey’s published articles from time to time, and was especially thrilled to hear that her daughter – who was in my son’s elementary classes – achieved success as an actress.
While Madeleine would never remember me, I continued to feel that I knew her somewhat, and that’s why it shocked and saddened me so much to read her article on her husband’s passing.
I’d like to pass my deepest condolences onto you and your family, Madeleine, and hope that your strength and positive attitude help smooth your road.
Liina Kerk-Tedesco

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