When I ordered your magazine for myself and my daughter, Adrienne, it was to bridge the five-hour travel distance between us, thinking that we could discuss the fashion trends and articles, and we would continue to share our thoughts via long distance. It has helped us maintain one of the elements of our mother-daughter bond. However, when I finished the July/August 2012 issue, something deeper happened to me, and I feel it’s necessary to write to you.
I first read the magazine in a surgical center while waiting for my husband’s totally detached rotator cuff to be repaired (first surgery 11-11-2010, second one in June of 2011); the surgery went as well as expected. In the More magazine I found that day (and managed to secretly remove) was an article on hair color that I knew my daughter should read, something like “Returning to Your Roots,” and the subscription card which I did later send. Eventually her hair color did change closer to her birth color, and we’ve enjoyed the magazine. But today's reading was meant for me.
In February 2012, my husband suffered a sudden massive heart attack and died (blood clot?), and my world and my son’s and daughter’s lives changed forever. When you watch your loved one take their last breath, it brings such tsunamic change, there are no words to describe it.
The article “Secrets of the Super Resilient” made me stop the tears and mounting self-pity for today and hopefully continue to guide my efforts as I redefine my life.
Many people say to me, “I don’t know how you can do it.” I don't truly know myself, but something in my brain, in my being, has told me over and over to keep pushing . . . allow the pain, the tears, the fears, the financial woes, the enormity to engulf me, and it has every day since his passing. Minutes can be endless while you grieve, but time does not stop. I know that I can't change or fix what has happened, that I must push forward. Writing continues to help my daily struggles as I learn what it means to become a widow at age 55.
Next week I am traveling with my two-year-old yellow Lab, Jack, the five hours to visit my daughter. It was a trip my husband and I had planned to make and celebrate our (7-14) 28th anniversary. All is different now, but I am going—with some trepidation, as Jack has only gone as far as our local vet! But I've learned that love is all that lasts, and it needs to be shared from the cradle to the grave and beyond.
Thank you, Laurence Gonzales, for your timely excerpt; I eagerly await the book. Thank you, Micki Glenn, for your amazing strength that broke through my veil of tears. And of course thank you, More magazine.
--Mrs. Janine Fenell
Of course, we have never met in person, but I have been a reader since the first issue of MORE was published. There are moments when I wonder why I keep subscribing, and then I read something that convinces me to stay. Mothers and daughters have perceptions, realities and truths that are not always transparent. Your article reminded me once again to keep an open mind; many times the illusions/allusions don’t equal the reality.
Thanks for the openness.
Just wanted to compliment you on a fantastic article regarding perimenopause in the July/August 2012 issue of More. I am a nurse practitioner and both personally and professionally gained so much from your article. It is the first in-depth explanation of what goes on from perimenopause through menopause, putting women’s concerns to rest and giving specific hints on what one can do during the different cycles of perimenopause. Kudos to More!
--Ellyn Troisi, Family Nurse Practitioner
You hardly gave me a moment to show you how smart I am, and wham! The page link will not accept any more submissions!
1. The magazine came in the mail.
2. It goes in the pile.
Days later I remember that the bills are inside the magazine.
3. The bills go to the computer; MORE comes to the bathroom with me.
4. I get involved with “Resilient” (Lawrence Gonzales) and replace The Buddhist Path morning reading to my recovering TBI son, Patrick, with this enormously fine article.