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Call It What You Will – They Are Snails

I have this theory on escargot. I think that anything—even goat turds—sautéed in butter with garlic would taste delicious. Well, you might say … it’s an acquired taste. (Escargot, not goat turds, just in case you were confused.)

Now that I’m fifty, I believe that I no longer have a taste for acquired taste. If I haven’t liked something in the first half century of my life, I am pretty sure that if something tastes bad to me now, I’m not going to have an gourmet epiphany any time soon and change my mind. Let me give you an example: pretzels. Stick versus the cross-over round things? I prefer stick. You insert them, you chew them, you are done. With the round ones, you sometimes have to take two bites, the round part can get stuck on the roof of the mouth, and when finished, a swoop with the finger around the back of the gums is needed. Seriously, who needs to put that much work into a pretzel?

Growing up white trash has trained my palette to not be too picky. I think chili can be mixed with just about anything and you can call it a meal. And cheddar cheese is a condiment. But, I digress.

Who first thought that snails could be a meal? Did someone look at the trail, and say yum, whatever made that trail could be delicious? And, since this is definitely on my list of acquired tastes, how old are children before they should start eating snails? Does Le Gerber make strained snails?

There are a lot of things I will eat: chili with spaghetti, chili with mashed potatoes, etc. But, I guarantee I will never, no never, eat anything that uses slime as a mode of transportation.

Maybe a seasoned gourmand can answer this question for me. What happens when you put salt on your escargot?