Laurie: I can’t believe it’s time to haul out that big folder with all the crumpled receipts and attempt to make some sense out of the mess. First, we curse. We curse because last year around this time we swore that we would neatly file all these pesky pieces of paper in a proper order. Failure # 1.
elizabeth: Oh, I keep my receipts nice and neat for my accountant so that the lovely, gracious and understanding people at the Internal Revenue Service won’t have to bother with contacting me. Can you smell the fear? I like to call it “My Sin is all over my short form” blues. And if you work for the IRS, Laurie wrote this segment of the blog.
Laurie: The first trick is figuring out what I want to be this year. I realize it is easy to print up a business card and I can be a neurosurgeon if I want, but we’re back to those damn receipts again. IRS will probably want to see a few scalpel purchases at the very least. So do I want to be a writer, a coach, a workshop facilitator, a reviewer of theatre and cabaret, or a numerologist? Now on all those professions I actually have websites and business cards. So spin the bottle and let’s get started!
elizabeth: I think the first thing I want to be is someone who is so grateful for the fine people who work for the Internal Revenue Service. The fear is starting to pour down my back. I will be whoever you want me to be as long as it doesn’t involve an audit. Would I be asking too much if I said I would be willing to do their laundry for a year?
Laurie: Gathering up the income information is daunting. Depressing because it should be so much more and amazing because I can’t believe I actually made that much money and can’t find it anywhere. Maybe this whole thing is a plot by the IRS to keep us humble?
elizabeth: I have no problems when it comes to being humble. Humility wrapped around an Armani scarf works for me and I do have the receipt. Not that I would ever claim it.
Laurie: Let the creativity begin. Where do we put that receipt for the Little Pie Company? Did I think about coaching while I was wolfing down Sour Cream Apple Pie? Resolved, it’s a business entertainment expense. And that blob ball stress reliever – didn’t I give that to a person who once said they wished they could afford a coach? Into the business gift pile it goes. Now me and Turbo Tax are almost ready to create our financial narrative for 2009. I’m just hoping at the end of the tax return there’s a Get Out of Jail Free card just in case IRS hates fairy tales.
elizabeth: I promise I will visit on weekends.