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Coaches on the Edge Say We Did What?

Laurie: Imagine our surprise when Elizabeth and I received a “cease and desist” on one of our blogs. A person who we will give the pseudonym of Organic Rays (we can only afford one lawsuit at a time) accused us of putting together two words that rhyme and plagiarizing a book they had written SEVEN years ago. We were to immediately add his Web site and name and no doubt revive his career. Although he did profess to be internationally known. Well, if he really did put the two words together, he would be internationally known because those same words are in a couple songs I still sing every now and then. Incredibly they were songs from the 70’s. Can you say time travel?

Elizabeth: You know what really made my blood boil over onto the floor and out the door was how threatening the tone of this internationally-known person was who I have never heard of, never read a word of theirs and have no idea what they want from us. Seven years ago I didn’t know what a coach was except when it came to someone trying to control the dribbling, blocking and scratching of their players. This reminds me of Paris Hilton saying she wanted to copyright “That’s Hot” or something stupid like that. Stupid like this.

 Laurie: And then the actual threats came. He’s gonna tell on us to the international group that provides ethics and standards for the coaching profession. I’m thinking they are a little busy attempting to create an international standard for the coaching but what do I know? And he sited that he had recently been interviewed by some coaching group whose email I long ago relegated to my spam folder. I’m trembling now.

Elizabeth: This guy wanted us to bow down and say “but of course, we will put your name and Web site on our blog.” You know what—I don’t know what life holds for me and what I will gain and lose as the years go by, but one thing that will NEVER be taken from me are my words. My words. I have so many words in me and none of them are theirs. I am beyond furious (you should have been on the call with Laurie and me—two phones melted and I sustained second degrees burns on my pointer finger.) Don’t threaten me when I express myself with ideas that are solely mine. And don’t mess with Laurie.

Laurie: But that’s not what is really exciting about this whole thing. It seems like Elizabeth and I are related through this grumpy little person. Yes, it’s true. Try to follow this. Our blog was filled with anecdotes from our childhood, and if we believe our illustrious author, my mother and Elizabeth’s father were something he wrote about seven years ago. Since we plagiarized his book and all of our childhood memories are true, it’s obvious - we all must share common parents. Now I’m thrilled to be related to Elizabeth (I call her Sista all the time anyway), but I could live without sitting across a Thanksgiving table with Organic Rays™. I smell a food fight coming on.

Elizabeth: You can say a lot of things about me - you can say my thighs meet in the middle, that I don’t look thirty anymore and that I am too passionate about right and wrong, but you can never accuse me of taking someone else’s ideas or words. EVER.

If my father, who loved words and taught us to respect them and to never steal anyone’s ideas or property, was still here, I think he would be bitch slapping someone right about now.