Adam, 27, a real estate agent from Dallas, TX
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Harrison warned us that Adam "is not arriving alone" on night one at the Bachelorette mansion. "There is someone or something that Adam is bringing," and we're crossing all our fingers and toes that it's a dog.
Alex, 28, an information systems supervisor from Grosse Pointe Park, MI
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"Alex's eyebrows aren't as serious as they appear in this picture," says Harrison. "Just so you know." Well, thanks for the heads up? Also, Alex looks like a chiseled Greek God, jsyk.
Anthony, 26, an education software manager from Chicago, IL
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Harrison says, "He looks like the brawny man, right? He's a big dude." Also, once we point out his long-ass arms, you won't be able to un-see it. Sorry, not sorry.
Blake E., 31, an aspiring drummer from Marina del Rey, CA
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Key word: aspiring. "And I'm an aspiring rock singer," Harrison jokes. "I think at some point at 31 you're just gonna have to call it a hobby." Damn Chris, shots fired.
Blake K., 29, a U.S. Marine veteran from San Francisco, CA
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Harrison basically gushes over this next one. "I always love having a veteran from our armed forces on the show," he says. And look at those ARMS.
Brady, 29, a male model from Miami, FL
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"Some serious hair," says Harrison. "We always have serious hair on the show." This guy's hair reminds us of Jordan, who won JoJo's season of the Bachelorette. "We're also keeping track of all the protein intake on the show, and how many times the guys shave each other." Not sure what he means by that, but okay.
Bryan, 37, a chiropractor from Miami, FL
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Chris Harrison laughs and says, "Age 37, which is like, ancient in Bachelor speak." We're sure that made Bryan feel great.
Bryce, 30, a firefighter from Orlando, FL
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First of all: he's a firefighter. Second of all: he's a FIREFIGHTER. *heart eyes* "Tip of the cap to Ryan Sutter, one of the most famous firefighters in the history of this country, and also married our first bachelorette, Trista," says Harrison. "He'll be a fan favorite."
Dean, 26, a startup recruiter from Venice, CA
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Dean looks a little bit like a teenager, but Chris Harrison reassures us: "I feel like that was a bad hair day for Dean, don't let that frighten you... The kind of wedge salad he has goin'? He's better than that."
DeMario, 30, an executive recruiter from Century City, CA
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Did the host of the Bachelorette just give us a spoiler? He says, "DeMario's smooth. Maybe too smooth. Maybe, just maybe, he's not here for the right reasons." Hmmm. Could DeMario be the Corinne of the season?
Eric, 29, a personal trainer from Los Angeles, CA
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"We don't have many personal trainers on the show. Or models. So we wanted to try something new and have a personal trainer on the show," says Harrison. "Can you tell I was joking there? Good." We're getting good vibes from Eric so far.
Fred, 27, an executive assistant from Dallas, TX
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"Somethin' about Fred..." Harrison says, and we just KNOW something crazy is about to happen. And it will, because Rachel was Fred's camp counselor 20 years ago. Also, we can't help but say it: Executive Assistant by day, Carleton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air by night.
Grant, 29, an emergency medicine physician from New York City, NY
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Harrison says, "As you can see there's a bit of a theme here," referring to the older, more accomplished contestants. And he puts Grant "among those accomplished men," which makes us think that he won't be significant on the show.
Ignacio, "Iggy," 30, a consulting firm CEO from Chicago, IL
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"Great guy, super nice guy, very lovable guy... someone who Rachel really respects," says Harrison. Is it us, or does that description sound exactly like someone who will get friendzoned ASAP?
Jack Stone, 32, an attorney from Dallas, TX
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"Can two attorneys exist together? We'll find out," says Harrison. Also, why does the name Jack Stone sound like a stripper you'd call for a Bachelorette party? We're kind of hoping that's true.
Jamey, 32, a sales account executive from Santa Monica, CA
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"Another guy in his 30's," says Chris Harrison. "I like this, everyone's getting closer and closer to me." Jamey looks like the kind of guy who wants something serious, but he's been hurt before and won't put up with reality TV bullshit for long.
Jedidiah, 35, an ER physician from Augusta, GA
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"Should anything happen to anybody on the set, I feel like we're covered this season," says Harrison, noting the abundance of ER guys, physicians, doctors, and military men.
Jonathan, 31, a tickle monster from New Smyrna Beach, FL
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Sigh. Jonathan is actually a doctor, but apparently, he likes to tickle. And we're already embarrassed for him. "That's kind of what he does, that's his thing," says Harrison. "I know you're thinking creepy Uncle Bob who maybe touches too much. It's not really that. It's affectionate. It's actually endearing." I don't think you made it any better, Chris.
Josiah, 28, a prosecuting attorney from Ft. Lauderdale, FL
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All Harrison says is that Josiah and Rachel could be an "interesting mix, considering what [the] bachelorette does." As in, she's also an attorney? We can only assume that the guys he doesn't spend time talking about are the ones we forget after night one.
Kenneth, "Diggy," 31, a senior inventory analyst from Chicago, IL
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"Just with the look alone he looks serious," says Harrison. Which must've been a joke, because this guy looks fun as hell.
Kenny, 35, a professional wrestler from Las Vegas, NV
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Harrison describes Kenny as a "badass dude, tough guy" but also says he "cries more than anybody this season." This wrestler has a soft side because he's a father to a beautiful little girl. But also, he "could literally rip my head off," says Harrison.
Kyle, 26, a marketing consultant from Los Angeles, CA
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"Has very broad shoulders and a big chest... That's it," says Harrison. Well, alright.
Lee, 30, a singer/songwriter from Nashville, TN
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YASSS, we love a Southern gentleman. "He's got that really sappy sweet southern thing going on," says Harrison. "But he kind of rubs guys the wrong way, so watch for Lee this season. He's gonna be more of an instigator than a lover." We're so ready for the drama.
Lucas, 30, a "whaboom" from Santa Monica, CA
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WTF is a "whaboom"?! "It's hard to explain, you're not gonna find it in the [dictionary] yet, but it's a lifestyle. It's an essence. It's who he is," explains Harrison. "I don't know whether I want to strangle him in his sleep, or I find him endearing." Whaboom=doom?
Matthew, "Matt," 32, a construction sales rep from Meriden, CT
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Good thing Rachel wants an older man, because this dude looks very mature—but might not act that mature. Harrison says, "He's the guy that shows up in the penguin suit," apparently paying homage to Alexis from Nick's season, who wore a shark costume.
Michael, 26, a former professional basketball player from Chicago, IL
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"We have Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on a basketball date," Harrison reveals. And for Michael, the former ball player, it was a dream come true. So no matter what happens, he can go home happy?
Milton, 31, a hotel recreation supervisor from North Bay Village, FL
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Audiences on Facebook loved Milton's smile, some saying it matched Bachelorette Rachel's. Harrison was confused about his occupation, though: "Does that mean he just like, sits by the pool? What's a recreation supervisor?"
Mohit, 26, a product manager from Pacifica, CA
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"Um... You'll be seeing him on the show," says Harrison. And that's all we get.
Peter, 31, a business owner from Madison, WI
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Harrison says, "Watch out for Peter... Watch out for Peter." So he's either a major douche or a top contender. We're dying to find out.
Robert "Rob," 30, a law student from Houston, TX
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Harrison basically goes heart-eyed at this point. He says, "Wow... he has a Tom Cruise thing going on, doesn't he? Is that just me? Ladies? Or am I making that up? Am I high?"
Will, 28, a sales manager from Miami, FL
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"Look at that smile," says Harrison. And he's right—this guy looks like he's got values, and we think he'll be in this for the long run. In the words of Chris Harrison, "Who would you give your first impression rose to?"