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I Asked My Dad to Summarize "Game of Thrones" and It Was Great

My dad has been watching Game of Thrones in preparation for the season six premiere on April 24. So I asked him to catch me up on what has happened thus far. Warning: Does contain spoilers, kind of.

 

My dad Dave in some spectacles.

A photo posted by My Dad, Dave (@mydaddave) on

 

Game of Thrones is one of the biggest shows on television right now, but it's not always easy to follow. So, before the big GoT return on April 24, I asked my dad—who is a budding fan—to summarize the show up to the end of season five. Here is the interview that followed.

DC: How much of Game of Thrones have you seen?

Well. I think I've seen seasons—I missed seasons two and three. Wait. No, I didn't. Mom and I watched season one, and I think I've seen the other seasons after that, four and five.

DC: What's the show about?

Well. I mean—I guess it's about the—hmm—there's sort of good and evil, but it's not like anybody is really good or really evil. Like Jon Snow seems like a really good guy, but then we have the Lannisters and the Targaryens. There's not anything really good about either of them. They're kind of like... bad... like different shades of bad. Jon Snow seems like a really good guy. But it doesn't seem to be good all the time, except that one bald guy. That guy that's like a eunich or something. He seems uncharacteristically good, but he's kind of a proud person.

DC: Who is your favorite character? Why?

Hmm. Probably either the little guy or Jon Snow, because both of them seem to be pretty truthful people. Jon Snow is a little more pure—overly truthful maybe. But the little guy—um—um—um—the imp or whatever they call him, he's pretty truthful, right or wrong. His motives are debatable, but pretty truthful.

DC: Which character do you not like? Why?

Probably Joffrey. He seems really kind of slimey.

DC: Who are the Starks?

Hmm. Well, those are the people—there's like—hmm—I don't know. There's that one guy and girl and that one woman who was at the in the inn when they didn't have any rooms. I don't know.

DC: Can you name them?

There's that one girl that has the sword, the needle... Arya. There's the woman who is married to—she's married to that one guy. She was the one who was in the inn and there were no rooms and then she took the little guy hostage. She's married to somebody. Jon Stark? Not Jon Snow... But her dad was the Hand. Arya. Arya's dad was the Hand. Then, that girl who ends up being married to the guy who—you know—got his thing cut off, but that's later.

DC: Who is Hodor?

Ohh! He's the one that only said, "Hodor," all the time. I don't know he is. Oh yea. He carries around the kid who couldn't walk anymore.

DC: Do you know who that kid is?

I think he's a Stark kid. He's the one they were trying to burn alive, but then they didn't burn him alive because they faked that they burned him alive.

DC: Who is Littlefinger?

Oh yea. That's the guy with the brothel. He said he was called Littlefinger because he lived on the piece of land with, like, the little finger.

DC: Do you know who he helped kill?

No. He might have might have had something to do with that—that one part where they killed all the people.

DC: The Red Wedding?

Yea. A lot of people get killed, but I don't think I've seen that part before. I just know a lot of people got killed.

DC: Who is Daenerys Targaryen?

That's the blonde-headed girl, right? The dragon queen. She's married to the horse prince or whatever he's called. She's the one with the dragon eggs.

DC: What is she trying to do?

She wants to take over the world. She wants to take over the throne. She seems way more motivated than her husband.

DC: Drogo?

Yea. The guy that never wears the shirt, big swarthy guy. Drago! Like the guy in Rocky, Rocky 4 when he fought the Russian guy. Ivan Drago.

DC: Who is Grey Worm?

Well... Greyjoy? Greyjoy is that guy who gets his thing cut off.

DC: Nope. This is a different guy. Grey Worm is the leader of the Unsullied.

Oh. He's the guy that really likes the blonde-headed girl. He's like the leader of it? He likes the dragon queen.

DC: Who has the throne right now?

Hmm. Well it's... Robert. The big fat guy. Yea. He's married to Lannister. He's married to the Lannister woman and Jaime is her brother. But then later, the kid becomes king. A lot of them get killed and stuff.

DC: Who do you think is the rightful king or queen?

I think probably Jon Snow. Just cause he seems like a decent person.

DC: You talked about him earlier, but who is Lord Varys?

I talked about him earlier? Hmm. Is he the bald-headed guy? That's the eunich. He was on the small council for Robert. He's always hanging around. He has this position of power, but you don't really know where it came from. And he has all this information.

DC: Who is Brienne of Tarth?

Oh yea. She's the big woman knight. She's pretty cool.

DC: How about Cersei Lannister?

She's the girl, right? Even though Cersei sounds like a boy's name. She's married to the king right now and has a boy that's going to become the king, but then he gets killed. And she has a brother who has two hands now, but will have one later. He's a good fighter right now, but one of his hands gets cut off and he gets a shiny hand. Her other brother is the little guy, the dwarf. She's right in the middle of the whole thing. She's very powerful.

DC: Cersei has three kids, do you remember who their father is?

I think all of her kids... are bastards of incest. Yea. But their father is her brother.

DC: What's going on at the Wall?

Well. There's Jon Snow. He's still kind of a junior guy, and there's this older guy that's making a lot of crap for him. They're just sort of hanging out right now.

DC: What about in season five?
Oh. Later, Jon Snow kind of hoooks up with the wldlings, but people—but people—it's kind of confusing. People think he's a wildling sympathizer. I think he maybe marries a wildling? They stab him later though. They kill him. Although (my brother) Nate believes he's not actually dead. Maybe he's not actually dead. We don't know.

DC: What is a white walker?

Oh. Those are like super powerful zombies. After people get killed outside the Wall, they turn into a white. If they turn into a white walker, they're like super powerful zombie things.

DC: What do you think is going to happen in season six?

Hmm. Well. I know this! So, the one woman who got thrown in jail because of the religious people? She's probably gonna come back and do some really big stuff.

DC: Cersei?

Yea. The one who had to walk naked down the street. She's going to do some big stuff. Then, I think the dwarf... I don't know. It'll be interesting to see what he does. Of course, the dragon queen is still hanging around. What's she going to do? I think it'll be some interesting stuff. The dragon queen—Daenerys—she has that guy that she was upset with because he ratted on her. She's gonna probably take him back under her fold and there'll be a powerful alliance. It's kind of like a Donald Trump season six, a lot of major things are going on. It's going to be amazing.

DC: Do you think Jon Snow is alive?

I think Jon Snow is alive. He's too powerful to be dead. That's my thought. Nate would be very excited if Jon Snow was alive and, like, his dog was alive. That would be cool, but we'll see.

Liked my dad's thoughts on Game of Thrones? Follow him on Instagram at mydaddave.

Rachel Weeks

I'm originally from the Chicagoland area, but I recently moved from beautiful Des Moines, IA to the equally beautiful Denver, CO. I spend my days reading, binge-watching TV shows, performing and listening to comedy and, of course, writing.

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