The Cotton-Panty Eviction
Today, I actually climbed out of my yoga pants and into blue jeans—which is, in and of itself, a small miracle. While doing so, my daughter chimed in, “Hey mom! We have the same panties.” What? I thought, looking down. The same panties as my three-year-old? Surely not. But I was wrong; ours were very similar. Both cotton and adorned with pink flowers and a nice elastic waistband with the brand stamped on it. (I love you Hanes and Fruit of the Loom. Love you!)
So I am here to confess this: I sport cotton panties. The same style cotton panties that my three-year-old wears sans the Disney princesses or Dora. But I can’t promise that if I didn’t see day-of-the-week panties in my size, I wouldn’t buy them—because I totally would. I would even wear them on the correct days of the week.
Truthfully, I’m a bit plagued by this. Perhaps I should graduate to something grown up? Something sexier? Something less three-year-oldish? Or not.
To beat it all, I’m also sure that my grandmother used to wear a similar style of panties. Except hers were silky and much taller, or at least they always looked that way when she had them hanging on the line to dry. And this line of thought alone led to me to a crossroads of sort where I couldn’t decide if my panties were granny panties or children’s panties. Either way, I think it’s time for a graduation; more over, an eviction of the cotton panties.
The problem with the eviction is that I’m not sure if I’m ready to branch out to new panties. Are you? The idea of a thong sort of makes me itch. I feel like I would also be doing an eviction of the thong—from my behind every five minutes. Maybe I should try something nice with lace on it. Maybe I should try anything that isn’t cotton.
I guess I could ask my husband’s opinion, but he’s probably too busy worrying about the fact that I’m talking to the Internet about my panties in the first place. And who can blame him?
So this is the verdict: in the future, I might possibly branch out to try new panties that are not similar to my three-year-old’s.
And so ladies of DivineCaroline, I am here to ask you: Are you giving in to the pressures of wearing sexy underwear? Do you feel like there are pressures to wear sexy underclothing? Are you keeping it real with the cotton? Are you into microfiber? What kind of underwear/panties/drawers are you wearing? And have you recently upgraded your taste to something that is not like that of a child or septuagenarian? It’s time to dish.