When I was a kid, Elvis was it. My dad convinced me that Elvis was a relative. My dad has blue eyes, black hair, and a noticeable grin when he was younger and was a convincing storyteller.

As I got older, I thought he looked remarkably like Jed Clampett on The Beverly Hillbillies. He even talked and danced like him. He said things like, “Waillll dogey” and “I’ll be dern.” The next time insomnia hits and you’re channel-surfing, when you come across The Beverly Hillbillies, stop for a second and think about me. I need to get a picture of my Dad just so you know I’m not kiddin’.

Okay, so what has this to do with my day? Well, Jed Clampett has nothing to do with my day—that’s just where my brain went when I think about my Dad. But Elvis, yeah, I am embarrassed to admit this, but against my better judgment, I dyed my own hair last night. I wanted to cover the highlights I’d gotten earlier in the summer back to my normal color. Nothing dramatic. Just my same old, same old. Diana even went with me to pick out the color. I wanted my basic brown. So we chose L’Oreal natural medium brown. Ugh. There is nothing natural about this. It is Elvis Presley blue-black. I did this one other time in 1987. Only it was Loving Care’s Medium Ash Brown. It’s been how many years since I did that? Twenty-one. I haven’t dyed my hair since then. NOTE TO SELF: stop it!

When I get good and brave, I will post a picture. Right now, I am going to wash my hair again.

I have an itch to curl my lip up and say, “Thank you. Thankyouverymuch.”