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Badunkadon’t: The Booty Pop

Gone are the days of shoving Mom’s assorted throw pillows down our pants to achieve fuller derrieres; now we’ve got the Booty Pop, or as I like to call it, the Classy Assy. For those of you who are unfamiliar, allow me to break it down: the Booty Pop is a pair of padded underwear, or rather, panties with two bulbous discs sewn into the rear. As illustrated below in the most enlightening commercial of all time, the Booty Pop transforms sad saggy bottoms into bouncy buns of glee (with only moderate lumpage!). It also transforms women with poor posture who stand in front of the mirror pushing their pelvis forward, neutralizing any curvature they may have on their back side, into women who stand proudly hoisting their buttocks toward the sky. Side effects include involuntary wiggling and nonstop self–butt petting. Way to class it up, Booty Pop!

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