Many people have written about their struggles; be it with sex, drugs, alcohol, religion, spouses, friends, enemies, teachers, children, parents, pets, or my own personal favorite struggle—food. So, because I think my problems are as important as my literary peers, I finally decided to write about my daily experiences in my own personal battle with the bulge.
There has to be a certain amount of determination and resolve inside of me. Even after mountainous failures, I am still in the fight. I know that I will be all the better for my trial and when I do come out—with God’s help, a little drive, and a lot of determination—I intend to stay out.
Every body’s doing it …
At least two trends have recently gained momentum in the public domain. Number one is the trend that says, “Love the fat and everything that comes with it!” Embrace your extra poundage, dress it up, and flaunt it, flaunt it, flaunt it, girlfriend! The most notable purveyor of this philosophy, of course, is Mo’Nique with her F.A.T. Chance Beauty Pageants. First, let me say that I think it’s wonderful that these women feel good about themselves. They are beautiful, and real, and I think that’s great. The truth of the matter is that you have to love who you are now, where you are now otherwise, any self-help attempt will fail. Still, the junk that comes along with being overweight cannot be denied; the hypertension, the bloating, the heart palpitations, the swollen ankles, the blah, blah, blah, blah … I’m sure I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Skinny does not automatically equal healthy, but being the proper weight for your frame would surely help more than hurt.
Then there’s the trend of let the surgeons open you up and have at it. Rearranging, snipping, cutting, and stapling vital organs in an attempt to make us less hungry. For those who have major health issues (yes, I watch cable’s Big Medicine) and have tried everything they know how to no avail, I can understand this method of weight control—as a last resort. But I do know for a fact that it is possible through diet and exercise for a 200 plus pound woman, such as myself, to lose weight without surgery. The natural way is the path I’ve chosen. It may take longer, but that’s okay, as long as I get the job done.
You’ve gotta have the right motivation.
Having said all of that, the time has come for me to be honest with you, as well as myself. One of the major reasons I want to lose weight is to look the best that I possibly can. Yes, I’m thankful for all of the health benefits that are involved but as I said before, I’m being honest. I want to wear all of the latest fashions—in a smaller size (face it ladies, not many of us would admit to such vanity). My favorite addiction in the whole world is Italian shoes. Unfortunately, this style of shoe is not very forgiving of fat or swollen feet. Strappy sandals are a particular favorite of mine but in order for them to look good, you would definitely need to minimize what I call foot bulge. With the myriad of plastic surgery programs that flood cable TV and the Internet, I have yet to see liposuction done on swollen feet. So I’ve decided that I’m not going to quit until I reach my desired goal—not to be thin—but to be the size that is most healthy for me.
Now there’s that other reason of course (darn, here comes that honesty again). We all want to feel and be attractive to Mr. Right. This will never work however, if I don’t love me enough to want to be my best for me. By the time Mr. Right gets through dealing with all of my insecurities, eating binges, and up and down mood swings, he is sure to become Mr. Thinking to Himself, “How in the world did I get involved with this nut?”
In order for this not to happen, I must find a way to be happy and secure in my own skin. This is not an easy task for women, especially in a society that thrives on America’s Next Top Thin Woman’s Contest and back-to-back episodes of Nip/Tuck.
Still, I look forward to the journey and even more forward to the results. I know I can do this, and I plan to keep track of every facet of my weight loss endeavor. And if you’re real nice, I may even keep you in the loop. Ciao!