Like most children of the 1980s, I watched the Star Wars movies a lot growing up. Their imprint was deep; I pondered the moral quandaries of Luke Skywalker, I practiced the sacred Jedi art of the telekinesis for hours on end, and I had a crush on R2-D2. (Okay, maybe that last one’s just me.) But one thing I never thought about was Chewbacca’s love life. Maybe his character was underwritten, or maybe it was the whole grunting shtick, but I simply never contemplated Wookiee woopie. That is, until now. All thanks to this little number recently featured on NYC runways: the fur onesie.
When I saw this, it dawned on me (in a flash of involuntary Wookiee speculation) that this fur onesie is exactly what Chewie would ask his disappointingly hairless human girlfriend to wear to get his motor running. Follow-up questions, of course, include: why would Chewbacca be dating a human, would she speak Shyriiwook, and what would he wear in the bedroom, but those are for another, even weirder, column. The point of this column is to warn you: this is the proposed incarnation of sexy for fall 2011. Wearing lingerie is already a traumatic enterprise for most; can we please not invite comparisons to wooly extraterrestrial beasts to the experience? I hope you’ll join me in just saying no to this fearsome fashion flop. Or as Chewie would say, “Uuugghhrowwwrlluough.”
Note: The onesie pictured above is not from last month’s runways. Due to pesky copyright laws, I was forced to select an older one from the same designer. (Yes, she has more than one.) Click here to see the latest fuzzy culprit; it’s even more confusing.
WTF? is a series dedicated to the trends that haunt our city streets and leave us with nothing else to say but “What the f#$%!?” While individuality is appreciated when it comes to personal style, WTF-committers may suffer from a lack of judgment with regard to taking risks. If you see a trend that leaves you saying “WTF?” please send a message care of the editor to email@example.com.