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I Could Be on What Not to Wear

Yesterday I was wearing very green mesh garden shoes, slate blue crop sweat pants that are too baggy, and a light pink Old Navy t-shirt I’ve had since we moved to New Orleans—so it’s four years old.

We were getting ready to head out the door to the grocery when hubby said, “You are going to change aren’t you?” I said, “Why? You don’t like my outfit?” (Giggling and planning to change anyway). He said, “Your boy Clinton would not approve!” Clinton is the male host of “What Not To Wear.”  I have to admit, when I watch that show I see myself in many of the victims. Actually, I have become somewhat addicted to it lately and I think it is an envy-driven addiction. How I long to spend $5,000 on new clothing. Hell, just going shopping by myself in New York City would be a royal treat!

Confession #1: I have clothes that are at least seven years old.
I used to work (pre-children) at places where I had to dress business casual on most days so any “nice” clothes I have are from that time in my life. I haven’t worked out in the workplace in four years. And my last job I had was for three years. Some clothes I remember wearing to work at the job before that. So you do the math.

Confession #2: I only have one really nice outfit in my wardrobe.
That is right. I had to do some interviewing last fall and I bought one outfit and wore it to three different interviews in two weeks. Thankfully, none of the companies called me back for a second interview. I don’t know what I would have worn! The good news about this outfit is I love it and it makes me look good! Even a little sexy. I got it right with this one. The other two I bought were, well, returned.

Confession #3: I have no time to shop.
Getting outfits right for your body and finding good deals take a lot of time and patience. Well, my kids steal both of those from me. Hubby would be more than willing to let me go out by myself but I am often too tired to think about trying on clothes. I like to shop leisurely for clothes and if I was on a schedule to be back the pressure would be on! And that doesn’t work for me. So I just pass.

Confession#4: The shoes are bad!
I have a pair of black boots that are my “go-to” dress boots and hubby just groans when I get them out. He won’t even try to polish them for me anymore. He always starts looking in my closet for another option which he quickly discovers I do not have. I replace my sneakers about every six months because that is important to do and I of course wear them the most. Also, I have flip-flops galore. They are cheap and easy to find when shopping with kids. Basically, I need all sorts of shoe options!

Confession #5: I have one really good pair of jeans.
I have several pair of jeans, but only one really fits me nicely. The others make me look fatter than I am and are unflattering. The problem with my one pair of good jeans is that they too are a couple of years old. I wish I could find five more pairs of that same jean and buy them all!

Confession #6: I still have maternity clothes in my closet.
When I quit my job four years ago we had just moved down south. I had all these northerner clothes. So I bought a bunch of cheap t-shirts, tank tops, and shorts for warm weather. Everything was super casual. Then sixteen months later Katrina hit, I got pregnant during evacuation and suddenly I am wearing maternity clothes. I bought all these cute clothes to wear. Then, I had the baby and was back to clothes from two year before. Well, you have to lose that baby weight first right? So a year later I’ve lost the baby weight, but now I start working which took most any free time I have. I need the job because my husband started his own company so top no free time with the cherry—no money to spend on clothing!  So I am stuck with what I have. And some of those things are maternity tops that are so cute I hate to give them up and occasionally wear them out!

So there you have it! I could be on that dang show! And I am not embarrassed to admit it.

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