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The OneZ: WTF?

Occasionally a garment is so powerful that it transforms its wearer into something entirely new; a pencil skirt turns a bookish Bertha into a sophisticated femme fatale, a fitted vest elevates a scruffy roughneck to a gentleman, and this terry-cloth onesie by California Christiania Republic transforms anyone who wears it into a complete and total asshat.

The OneZ—see how clever that is, with the “z”?—is brought to us by the same luminary who convinced Ashton Kutcher that trucker hats are made of gold, Von Dutch founder Tonny Soresen. He envisions his new onesie-centric brand, California Christiana Republic, as “something that represents freedom, individuality, and the ability to live in world that is free from judgment.” In other words: first the OneZ, then world peace. While I understand the freedom part (what could be less restricting than pajamas?), I’m having trouble wrapping my head around the “free from judgment” bit. If Soresen were really interested in promoting acceptance, he’d make clothing that was not begging to be skewered, right? On this point, he failed spectacularly. See that red star on the front? It’s called a “freedom star.” Tell me you’re not judging.

But, of course, Hollywood tastemakers have embraced their inner asshats and suited up: Britney Spears donned the pj’s for the impending apocalypse in her video for “Till the End of the World”; MTV star Dave Lingwood wore one to the season-two premier party of his show The Buried Life; and Steven Tyler zipped up in his video for “Feels So Good.” Granted, I don’t know the recipe for world peace, and maybe Britney, Steven, and Tonny are diplomatic savants, but I’m pretty sure that not seeing trendy rich folks dressed as deflated Barney dinosaurs with “freedom stars” increases the odds that we will all get along. So in the name of global harmony, keep your inner asshat on lockdown and shun the OneZ.

Read Peep-Toe Boots: WTF?

WTF? is a series dedicated to the trends that haunt our city streets and leave us with nothing else to say but “What the f#$%!?” While individuality is appreciated when it comes to personal style, WTF-committers may suffer from a lack of judgment with regard to taking risks. If you see a trend that leaves you saying “WTF?” please send a message care of the editor to rbrown@realgirlsmedia.com.

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