Menu Join now Search

I Actually Told Her to Buy a Third Pair of Boots!

For this post I am honored to share an article by a guest contributor. As so frequently occurs, one of the women who attended my last workshop had a powerful breakthrough and agreed to share it with you. I hope that it inspires you to take a look at what’s going on in your relationship with money!

My goal in attending Lora’s How To Romance Your Money workshop was simple: to experience greater freedom, pleasure, and joy in my relationship to money.

Historically, while I had no problem spending money on others, I lived with feelings of excruciating guilt and anxiety when it came to buying things for myself. I very often felt like I was in money jail. In other aspects regarding money, I happily pay my bills promptly and am clear about my worth at work and can command it.

But I continued to be perplexed for most of my life about the dilemma around giving to myself.

At the start of the seminar I had mentioned (in passing) that I had just bought a pair of black boots. I wanted to buy another pair I had just seen in brown. I really wanted both but feared it would be too much.

During the workshop, Lora led us through a number of exercises through which I got in touch with a powerful childhood money memory. Around age eleven, my father became a self-made millionaire through the sale of his veterinary pharmaceutical business after working very hard his whole life. We were enjoying the fruits of his labor and this brought a new level of abundance to my family. I remember at that time feeling very happy and excited … in fact maybe a little too excited.

Tragically, very shortly after the sale of his company, my father died in an instant of a heart attack at age forty-eight. The trauma of his sudden death left me feeling like I needed to control everything in my life—including not spending money. It was then that money became a scary and dangerous commodity.

As a huge wave of grief came over me as I recalled this time in my life, a light went off in my brain and a hidden belief was revealed to me. The message was “You better not enjoy having too much because you will surely get punished.” I had never put the two thoughts together before and it was the first time I could actually know and question this belief.

When we were wrapping up the seminar, Lora remembered my earlier passing comment and challenged me to not only purchase those brown boots, but to actually buy a third pair! I looked at her in disbelief, but also knew this was her “coach’s challenge” to move beyond this longstanding fear.

Since the workshop I have been using the tips and tools Lora shared with us and continue to have profound breakthroughs. And I have given myself permission to shop for some beautiful fall clothes.

Lora’s workshop helped me create a new belief system. Specifically, she helped me to see that “having” does not have to represent someone’s life being placed in jeopardy. I treated myself to the second pair of boots and have been wearing both pairs with excitement, freedom, and joy. I have been receiving wonderful compliments to which I respond thank you, with a big smile and a gentle affirmation to myself, “Nicole, you deserve to feel like a million bucks!” I feel bold, powerful, and happy.

Financially Smitten Call to Action for You Today:

No matter what your struggle may be in your relationship with money, as Nicole’s experience illustrates, it is so often connected to something deeper.