“You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.”
- James Allen
Imagine that you’ve gotten everything you ever wanted … the life partner, the house, the car, the clothes, the physique, the friends, the money, the lifestyle …
If you’re like most people, you might sabotage yourself in “having it all.” In the Western world, we are actually socialized to be in continuous striving toward perfection. That means that we don’t know how to have and enjoy everything we’ve worked for and received (much less what’s in the natural world around us) because if we have “it,” our culture says we’re not working hard enough (a leftover from our pilgrim ancestors). Or there could be an inference that we aren’t doing enough if we don’t continue to have tangible goals.
Imagine a train chugging up a steep incline, with its engine working hard … when it gets to the top, what does it do? It goes down. Logically, there’s no other way to go. But what if there WAS another way? What if, when the train got to the top, it got to cruise along a plateau rather than drop down?
If you can now put yourself in that picture as the train, you’ll see that you naturally keep working hard (going up) or know how to cope with not having the top (going down); however, you likely don’t know how to cruise the topmost plateau you’ve attained. This is called “Havingness”; it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it is descriptive.
The higher your “Havingness,” or ability to enjoy without continuously working hard, the easier it is for you to hold on to and enjoy your achievements. You might even think of this as “wealth self-esteem.”
If you have a low “Havingness,” you will proportionately experience the “downside” of what you want, always work toward always needing to have more and sabotaging the results you do get from your efforts. In which case, you will find yourself comfortably in discomfort as you “re-tread” what you’ve always done.
So how do you increase your wealth “Havingness”?
Three Things You Can Do Today
1. Ask for more than enough. Often people don’t think big enough in terms of their own abundance (including fees for their services!). Your limited thinking and expectations will keep you in hard work mode, chugging up your personal hills. Ask for the most you think you can have—and then double it!
2. Watch where you are giving. You cannot enjoy your own “Havingness” if you give away all the good stuff. Part of the reason that you are here is to ENJOY what you are creating. Sharing is generosity of soul in action; however, chronic over-giving is unhealthy and a sign to consider what is compelling you to give. It’s deliberately leaking away what you have as it drains your “Havingness”. Over-giving could be keeping you in overwork, experiencing less joy, and resenting what you give to others.
3. Look at your self-sabotage patterns. The good news is that you can be the observer of your own dysfunctional patterns, even if they are really familiar. Some common tactics people use because they don’t know how to handle abundance is to go into “drama” or focus on external “noise”. Others are to quit on a nearly successful project toward the end, or to stay in the preparation for the preparation of the preparation… you get the idea. These are stall tactics to keep people from moving forward. It could be that people don’t know how to be if they’re not striving anymore - they just don’t know what to expect if they have it all. Look at where you are potentially sabotaging your own “Havingness” and minimizing your wealth self-esteem and financial freedom.
If you increase your “Havingness,” you’re aligned with your wealth energy and you’re setting a positive example, which will ultimately benefit everyone around you.