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Itchy Earlobes and American Express

Now these two things may not be related, but they could be. As soon as I opened the American Express bill and saw the amount $7,000, my earlobes began to itch like mad. I can see having heart palpitations over this amount, or shortness of breath or even feeling “faint” (or for that matter—fainting), but itchy earlobes?

Scanning the bill quickly with one hand and rubbing my now burning earlobes with the other hand, I saw the usual culprits; Alex and car stuff (we have three BMW’s—boys and their toys!).There’s always a registration charge or a 60,000 mile check up due on one or two of them. Plus the weird-assed other stuff that Alex orders for our cars. Plastic cup holders, something to hold the GPS thing, a screen for something or another, they all add up!

And me and my grocery store purchases, which includes a case of a fine Cabernet, (but if you buy the case you get 10 percent off) and the “free gift with purchase” cosmetics (where you get a bunch of samples for only spending $200 or $300 or so). This has got to be wrong. Oh wait, here it is, the $500 approximately for Harry’s teeth cleaning (Harry’s our dog) and $400 for Honey’s (our other dog) tummy upset. Okay, my earlobes are now burning and I think they are swelling up with ick.

Another major item is the Home Depot stuff. I’m sure we needed that $300 worth of whatever it was. Oh, and the Walgreen’s sundries. Can’t forget those sundries, now can we?

I was thinking I might see a $5000 charge from a purchase at Harry Winston (the Jeweler in NY) for a diamond tennis bracelet for me or something from my husband. That charge was not there. Hmm. He does know tomorrow is our anniversary, doesn’t he? Of course he knows. It’s our twentieth and he’d better know.

I may even need to go to the drugstore and get medication for these earlobes. Wonder what they will cost? Maybe I shouldn’t put it on the American Express card.