The other day, I was messaging on Facebook about the craziness of my day. Getting my daughter up and getting her on the bus, going to vote, running to do groceries, stopping at my husband’s office, coming home cleaning, and working on school work for my masters program. A dear friend said she was amazed by all of my energy and as I sat there and yawned I thought, what energy? Instead of thanking her for the compliment I said I don’t know if its energy or craziness but either way it works. This response left me thinking, why is that we as women are so unable to except compliments from other women? Why is that we only see all of the things that we don’t get accomplished in a day? Or better yet, am I the only one who feels like she has failed when she can’t find the energy to do more? More housework, more wash, more books at bedtime, have more patience, offer to help friends more. More time for work, school work, and for life in general. If I am, what does that say about me? What am I teaching my daughter? Which leaves me a little overwhelmed at all of it.
Today, for example I spent the morning after my little person was at school responding to email and got to work on stuff for my husband. I then had lunch and responded to emails, did a load of wash, and worked on dishes that I didn’t get to last night. I responded to email, set up a tentative play date for Thanksgiving break for my daughter and realized that I have work due for my class in a few days, a paper due as well, and I am exhausted, yet we won’t be home much tonight because we have places to be tonight. So instead of going to bed, after my little one is asleep, I will be sitting at my desk working on my paper, so I can begin the other work I need to do and get ready for the next day, which will be some computer work for my husband’s office again for a few hours. Yes without question it takes a lot of energy yet it doesn’t seem like I do enough: why is that? Is it my reaction to things, or is the way others who have an office career make you feel lazy or something else? I don’t know … what I do know is I wish that when a friend pays me a compliment I could thank them and take it as a compliment. The question is how do we, or I, change it?