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All I Wanted Was A Car Inspection

All I wanted was to find out what time the car inspection shop at the dealership opened. Same place we take our cars every year for state inspections. So, I called the shop to ask. Turned out that getting a simple answer would occupy a good portion of my morning and patience. The following is the conversation between the guy who answered the phone and me.

CAR PLACE GUY: Mornin'. Car Place. How can I direct your call ?

ME: Mornin'. I was just wondering what time you are open for car inspections today?

CAR PLACE GUY: What kinda car is it?

ME: (wondering why this had anything to do with it.) A Nissan.

CAR PLACE GUY: OH MY. (as though I had said it was a mule drawn milk wagon) Well we aren't a Nissan dealership, mam. You need to take it to the place you bought it.

ME: Well sir, we bring it to your shop every year for inspection since you are a state inspection station.

CAR PLACE GUY: Well, is there a warranty on it? (again wondering why he asked that.)

ME: No, I think it has expired.

CAR PLACE GUY: Uh oh.

ME: Why "uh oh" ?

CAR PLACE GUY: Well, just -uh oh.

ME: Could you just please direct me to the repair shop?

CAR PLACE GUY: Which one mam? We got two.

ME: I guess it doesn't matter. Either one.

CAR PLACE GUY: Well, we have a BMW repair side and a Mercedes side. What did you say you drive, again?"

ME: That would be a Nissan, sir.

CAR PLACE GUY: Well, then you oughta go over to the Nissan place across town. You know, Bubba Hicksruns it?

ME: Look, we always bring out cars to your shop for state inspections. Everyone does. It is a state inspection station. I just need to know what time you are open this morning for inspections.

CAR PLACE GUY: Well, that depends on which shop you want. We have two. A Mercedes side and a BMW side.

ME: I don't care which one, Either will do.

CAR PLACE GUY: Well, I NEED to know so I know where to direct your call.

ME: (Toenails starting to itch.) Okay, Okay. Mercedes.

CAR PLACE GUY: But, you don't drive a Mercedes!

ME: I don't drive a BMW either! Those were my only choices you gave me! You told me to pick a side!

CAR PLACE GUY: Well, I can't direct your call without knowing which side you want.

ME: Never mind. I 'll just come up there.

SO! I thought to myself; 'Ill fool him. I'll call back and get someone else who answers who might know what I am asking. Someone with more sense, and perhaps a cap that is not too tight around his head..

CAR PLACE GUY: Mornin'. Car place. How can I direct your call?

ME: Oh no! It's YOU !

CAR PLACE GUY: Yeah, I guess it is.

ME: (trying to remain calm.) What time do you open for car inspections?

CAR PLACE GUY: What do you drive, mam?

ME: (sigh.) A Nissan. I need the repair shop, please.

CAR PLACE GUY: Well, then, which side repair shop do you want? We have two. We have a Mecedes side and a a BMW side...
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Linda Cheshire 2012

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