As a parenting consultant, I work with lots of moms who resonate deeply with this comment from the parent of several young children:
I’m humbled and a bit embarrassed to find myself needing so much help from my husband and extended family. I was a capable, competent, and independent woman before I had kids! What happened?
No mom is an island.
Sometimes, the most capable, competent decision we can make is to ask for help.
Knowing who and when to call when you feel overwhelmed by the incessant demands of parenting is a BIG deal. It can make the difference between child abuse and not, between a nervous breakdown and not. It’s not a cop out! It’s a smart action plan.
It’s when we CAN’T ask for help that things can become ugly and out of control.
So maybe it will help to reframe “independent” a little bit, so that instead of meaning, “I can do everything by myself,” it means, “I am willing and able to make conscious choices, including the choice to ask for assistance.”