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A Birth Mom’s View of Adoptive Parent’s Profiles

I lived with thirty-one birth moms so I got a pretty good feel of some dif­fer­ent per­spec­tives on them. Hope it helps!

I know a lot of time and thought goes into most adop­tive parent’s pro­file. Here are some things I looked for when choos­ing a fam­ily, and some things I didn’t look for too. The women I lived with were ages thirteen to forty-five, and as I remem­ber things they said … I will post it on here. Sometimes my brain works and I remem­ber a lot. Right now, not so much … So just start­ing the dis­cus­sion with a few. I looked for pho­tos and con­tent that showed an active out­door lifestyle. Showing how you would take them snow ski­ing, to the beach, to the lake, to his­tor­i­cal mon­u­ments, etc … All the things we birth moth­ers can’t give them and want them to have. One of the main rea­sons that a lot of girls, including me, went through with an adop­tion, was because we wanted our child to have a mother and father.

I’d sug­gest some­how show­ing that your rela­tion­ship is sturdy and will last—a big thing for me. The other kids! How many cousins, rel­a­tives, close friends have young chil­dren? I want her to grow up with play­mates and peers and have FUN. So cute shots of your niece and nephew play­ing are a plus. don’t overkill on the pictures with you sur­rounded by kids though. It’s too obvi­ous, and looks like you might have even hired them for the shot … jk! Grandma and Grandpa are a plus. I wanted a Christian fam­ily, that really fol­lowed God and strived daily to know Him more. That’s hard to con­vey in pictures and words … but some do it very well. I’m not sug­gest­ing any­one lie though, it’s best to be hon­est on every­thing. You don’t have to be the CEO of some huge com­pany for us to think your finan­cially secure … (almost any­thing was more secu­rity than I could offer at the moment.) Sometimes the pro­files look too much like a job appli­ca­tion or rec­om­men­da­tion let­ter ... this isn’t much, but may help.

It seemed to help a few, so maybe it can help more par­ents strug­gling with these silly pro­files. It’s too much pres­sure to put all of your­self in one lit­tle packet, if you ask me. But it’s also just as dif­fi­cult to choose I guess. We need to work out a bet­ter sys­tem. My solu­tion for every­thing these days is to video­tape instead! But not sure how that would go over with the agencies.

More to come.

And have the husband write the wife’s bio and vice versa ... looks much better and shows how you both feel about each other! Good luck!

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