A Birth Mom’s View of Adoptive Parent’s Profiles
I lived with thirty-one birth moms so I got a pretty good feel of some different perspectives on them. Hope it helps!
I know a lot of time and thought goes into most adoptive parent’s profile. Here are some things I looked for when choosing a family, and some things I didn’t look for too. The women I lived with were ages thirteen to forty-five, and as I remember things they said … I will post it on here. Sometimes my brain works and I remember a lot. Right now, not so much … So just starting the discussion with a few. I looked for photos and content that showed an active outdoor lifestyle. Showing how you would take them snow skiing, to the beach, to the lake, to historical monuments, etc … All the things we birth mothers can’t give them and want them to have. One of the main reasons that a lot of girls, including me, went through with an adoption, was because we wanted our child to have a mother and father.
I’d suggest somehow showing that your relationship is sturdy and will last—a big thing for me. The other kids! How many cousins, relatives, close friends have young children? I want her to grow up with playmates and peers and have FUN. So cute shots of your niece and nephew playing are a plus. don’t overkill on the pictures with you surrounded by kids though. It’s too obvious, and looks like you might have even hired them for the shot … jk! Grandma and Grandpa are a plus. I wanted a Christian family, that really followed God and strived daily to know Him more. That’s hard to convey in pictures and words … but some do it very well. I’m not suggesting anyone lie though, it’s best to be honest on everything. You don’t have to be the CEO of some huge company for us to think your financially secure … (almost anything was more security than I could offer at the moment.) Sometimes the profiles look too much like a job application or recommendation letter … this isn’t much, but may help.
It seemed to help a few, so maybe it can help more parents struggling with these silly profiles. It’s too much pressure to put all of yourself in one little packet, if you ask me. But it’s also just as difficult to choose I guess. We need to work out a better system. My solution for everything these days is to videotape instead! But not sure how that would go over with the agencies.
More to come.
And have the husband write the wife’s bio and vice versa … looks much better and shows how you both feel about each other! Good luck!