A Birth Mom’s View of Adoptive Parent’s Profiles

by admin

A Birth Mom’s View of Adoptive Parent’s Profiles

I lived with thirty-one birth moms so I got a pretty good feel of some dif­fer­ent per­spec­tives on them. Hope it helps!

I know a lot of time and thought goes into most adop­tive parent’s pro­file. Here are some things I looked for when choos­ing a fam­ily, and some things I didn’t look for too. The women I lived with were ages thirteen to forty-five, and as I remem­ber things they said … I will post it on here. Sometimes my brain works and I remem­ber a lot. Right now, not so much … So just start­ing the dis­cus­sion with a few. I looked for pho­tos and con­tent that showed an active out­door lifestyle. Showing how you would take them snow ski­ing, to the beach, to the lake, to his­tor­i­cal mon­u­ments, etc … All the things we birth moth­ers can’t give them and want them to have. One of the main rea­sons that a lot of girls, including me, went through with an adop­tion, was because we wanted our child to have a mother and father.

I’d sug­gest some­how show­ing that your rela­tion­ship is sturdy and will last—a big thing for me. The other kids! How many cousins, rel­a­tives, close friends have young chil­dren? I want her to grow up with play­mates and peers and have FUN. So cute shots of your niece and nephew play­ing are a plus. don’t overkill on the pictures with you sur­rounded by kids though. It’s too obvi­ous, and looks like you might have even hired them for the shot … jk! Grandma and Grandpa are a plus. I wanted a Christian fam­ily, that really fol­lowed God and strived daily to know Him more. That’s hard to con­vey in pictures and words … but some do it very well. I’m not sug­gest­ing any­one lie though, it’s best to be hon­est on every­thing. You don’t have to be the CEO of some huge com­pany for us to think your finan­cially secure … (almost any­thing was more secu­rity than I could offer at the moment.) Sometimes the pro­files look too much like a job appli­ca­tion or rec­om­men­da­tion let­ter … this isn’t much, but may help.

It seemed to help a few, so maybe it can help more par­ents strug­gling with these silly pro­files. It’s too much pres­sure to put all of your­self in one lit­tle packet, if you ask me. But it’s also just as dif­fi­cult to choose I guess. We need to work out a bet­ter sys­tem. My solu­tion for every­thing these days is to video­tape instead! But not sure how that would go over with the agencies.

More to come.

And have the husband write the wife’s bio and vice versa … looks much better and shows how you both feel about each other! Good luck!