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Chug, Baby, Chug!

I am one of those people who always finishes their drink. I can’t just leave a perfectly good bottle of water half-full. I have to drink the rest of it.

That said, my three-year-old will gladly leave a full glass of milk, water, juice, or you name it just sitting. Recently, it started bugging me. Aside from the fact that she needs to drink these things, half-full drinks make me want to scratch my eyes. I can just imagine them tipping themselves over onto the floor, and the hours that I will spend cleaning them up.

So I decided she needed an incentive. An incentive reminiscent of her potty training days. The sort where I chant, yell, and root for her as accomplishes her goal.

When Allie wouldn’t finish her drink, I started standing beside her to cheer her on. I assumed it would work. It worked for everything else.

Yesterday, as she was finishing some V8, I stood beside her chanting like the idiot I am.

“Come on, Allie! You can do it! Finish the juice! Come on!”

Adam walked in and looked at me a bit strangely.

“Chug, Allie! Chug! Chug!”

He continued looking at me like I was a life form from an unknown planet.

“Chug, baby, chug!” I continued to yell, ignoring him as I had almost coaxed Allie into finishing the juice.

Finally, Adam gave me the stink eye.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, you just sound like you’re at keg party cheering someone on.”

I thought about it for a minute.

I did! I sounded just like I was at a keg party. Urging your kid to drink their juice like you might urge a frat boy to finish a beer?

Guilty. As. charged.

The more I thought about it, I sounded like I was cheering for someone as they did their tenth keg stand for the night. The one where you know they will fall over, but you still urge them, because it is funny when people fall. Except I had a purpose for this urging.

Go, Allie! Go! You can do it!

She finally finished the juice. While urging her to chug is a tad bit unorthodox, like most things that I do, at least she is now finishing her drinks.

I’m penciling this in as a victory for myself. Now, if I could just find a way to convince her to do the dishes.

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