There was a coup in my carpool this morning. Rebels threatened to overthrow the control of my Eddie Bauer Expedition. Historians will call it the “Eddie Bauer Rebellion.”
Pulling into the school morning line, we knew instantly that we might be late. The traffic lady was blowing her whistle and waving her arms, just not at us. Lines of cars were moving, just not ours. And the car’s digital clock ticked on. And Eddie Bauer’s six teenage passengers became more agitated.
Having been late two a.m.’s previous and having been assigned tardy detentions, I admit I didn’t blame them.
But the “unspeakable” was spoken.
“When she (the whistle-blowing director, not me the driver) isn’t looking,” they whispered, “we could jump out and run through the middle school parking lot!” The plan was formed. Grabbing their athletic bags, backpacks, lunch sacks, and band instruments, they prepared for their escape.
“No!” I pleaded, “You can’t do that! If everyone jumped out and a made a dash it would be mass chaos, danger, and confusion. But, worst of all, the director lady would blow her whistle at ME!” The shame. The social embarrassment.
“What are they going to do?” the main revolutionista sneered with eyes of steely determination scanning the perimeter, hand firmly gripping the door latch, “make YOU go to detention? I won’t be late again.” (Note to self: Pray harder for God to give this seventeen-year-old his own car.)
Twelve eyes pierced through the back of my head. Air of tension. Clock is ticking. Who would reign supreme in this Eddie Bauer rebellion? Desperately, I searched my mom- files for a weapon that could end this coup.
Aha! It came. “If you pull the latch on that door and jump out of this car ...” I had to utter a threat I never imagined I would ever hear myself speak. “... you will NOT go squirrel hunting this weekend.” There, I had said it.
Touché. End of revolt. I reign supreme. With a deathblow to their leader, the war had ended. And the would-be revolutionistas made it on time. A blood vow was taken to never be that late again. But, should there be a next-time, I don’t know if I will be able to hold them back.
But, then again, there is always deer season ...