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Dealing with the Fear

I am twenty-three years old and expecting twin boys. Most people assume that I am terrified merely because I am so young, but I assure you that’s not the case. I have already given birth to three beautiful children, and no I was not as young as most of you might think. I had my first one month before my twentieth birthday.

My husband loves how big our family is, as do I, but considering that I have had all of our children by c-section I’m afraid that I might not survive this one. Two of my previous deliveries have gone horribly wrong, and the doctors seem to think that this c-section could be potentially fatal. My loving, yet clearly naive husband believes that as long as our kids are young, I am immortal, a sweet gesture but not even close to reality.

When I found this out, I was visably shaken. My older two children asked me what was wrong, but how do you explain to a three-year-old and a two-year-old that mommy might be going away? So everyday I live with this fear that in just a short time I may be away from my cuties for good.

If you’re wondering why I’ve told you this, it’s simple. My situation is not as uncommon as we would all love to think, but to all you women out there with fears, whether it be of death or birth or everything in between take pride in what life has given you. Though most of us don’t get a fair shake, know that there is support out there, sometimes where you least expect it. Take it one day at a time and I know you can get through it. I’m not saying that your fears will disappear, but whether you believe it or not you are a strong woman who is capable of  anything. Now take a deep breath and know that someone loves you.

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