Beginning at five weeks of my pregnancy, the nightmare began. I couldn’t throw up without peeing on myself. Come on, ladies—surely I’m not the only one. Let me just say that not only are Depends reliable, they’re comfortable too with the stretchy waist ... maternity panties.
I felt liberated; no one knew I needed a diaper change. It was my dirty little secret. Once, my very observant seven-year-old daughter visited me in the hospital and asked, “Why do you have that diaper on?” While laughing, I told her she’d better not tell anyone because I know that, being a child, she would work it into a conversation with a stranger while standing in line at Walmart. Now just for the record, the generic brand works just as well. Just try it.
Okay, where are my spitters? Isn’t that disgusting? A have a solution to the hillbilly spit cup. I can say that because I live in the country. Line a gift bag with a plastic bag, place tissue in the bottom, and everyone will think you have a gift ... spit at will. Works great! You can even change the gift bag to match your outfit. Okay, let’s not go that far, but you do look classy. Dry lips while spitting? Simply use Vaseline. There’s no smell and it doesn’t rub off easily while spitting. We become innovative while pregnant—just wait until the baby gets here.
Thank goodness I don’t need the Depends anymore. I don’t visit the hospital every other week for nausea and vomiting, but I still use the spit gift bag. Come on, March 14th! Many blessings, ladies.