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Divided Loyalties

I have lived with my significant other (in GA) and his children for going on five years. I have a biological son who lives with his father in another state. I have not worked in almost two years (not for lack of looking nor laziness ... the recession came about when I was hoping that a job would one day be mine) so my s/o is taking care of the four of us and he felt a responsibility to me, and paid child support for almost a year.

My son and his father call us on a daily basis to ask for money-related items. (I had a call just before I decided to write this—from my son, asking again for “mandatory” funds). It is incredibly stressful, both the fact that I JUST don’t have it nor can I ask my s/o to help —his children need things too. It is incredibly stressful because the ex and our son just don’t HEAR that I JUST DON”T HAVE IT (HELLO!). So I get harassing emails and phones taking me to task. I come away guilty and stressed; round and round with their total lack of understanding.

We don’t have the funds to send at this time. I’m called selfish because my son is lacking the will to find a job and help himself (he’s a college freshman with many hours in between classes to possibly find a part time job).

My son hasn’t come to visit me since I moved. I feel he should be as responsible to me as I am to him. But it’s a hard row to hoe, when he wants what HE wants and doesn’t give what I need—his presence and his respect.

Sooo, I’m divided. My second family needs to eat, be clothed and have a roof over their heads as well as my son. When there’s funds to be had, I have to make sure he has what he needs and my second family—sad to say, but my s/o’s kids mean more. They’re here, ya know?

Uh oh … I’m feeling guilty again.

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