Fifty Seldom Shared Truths About Motherhood
1. This is the only time when picking someone else’s nose is socially acceptable and not disgusting.
2. Instead of laughing at Preparation H commercials, you are reminded that you must pick some up from the store.
3. You really can live off macaroni and cheese and coffee.
4. You may not be able to go to the bathroom alone for at least eighteen years.
5. For the first time in your life, your people skills and high priced education will not help you.
6. A mini-van starts to look good to you.
7. You will get angry at your parents and then forgive them.
8. You will apologize to your parents and then appreciate them.
9. Your body will not be the same. Not bad just different.
10. It is never a mistake to bring life into the world.
11. You will cry for no reason.
12. You will smile for no reason.
13. Stretchmarks happen.
14. Do not read parenting magazines, they will scare you and make you feel guilty.
15. Stay at home or work? Do what is right for you and your child, not what others say.
16. Do not put unrealistic expectations on yourself.
17. You will need help. So ask for it.
18. The laundry and housework can wait.
19. Make a little time for yourself. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids.
20. Take naps.
21. They are only little once. So enjoy the diaper, crawling, and bottle days. They will soon be gone.
22. Giving birth hurts.
23. Be patient with your body.
24. Do not compare yourself or your child to others.
25. Do not judge other mothers or their children.
26. Your relationship with your significant other will change.
27. You might feel sad or depressed. It is normal. Be sure to get help when you need it.
28. Fruit snacks, lunchboxes, and pajamas are serious stuff.
29. People without kids just don’t get it. Don’t even try to explain.
30. Your relationships with your friends that don’t have kids will change.
31. Your “mom friends” will keep you from the brink of insanity.
32. Being a mom really is the hardest job in the world, but the most rewarding.
33. Being a single mother is harder. We should respect and help them.
34. You really do have to grow-up now.
35. Acknowledge other mothers and help them if you can.
36. Your vagina and breasts have been through a lot. So be patient if it takes you some time to see them as fun again.
37. When your milk comes in, it can be painful.
38. Ice packs on your breasts and V-area really help the swelling and pain.
39. Your clothes may or may not fit you again. Either way you are still beautiful.
40. Be prepared to find food and toys in places they do not belong.
41. Do not have someone in the delivery room just because you are being pressured to.
42. Enjoy your time with your children.
43. Dads get tired and need breaks, too.
44. Happy Meals are lifesavers.
45. You will run short on patience.
46. Remember how you felt when you were a kid.
47. It is okay to park your child in front of the television once and awhile. We all do it.
48. Give up trying to be perfect and just do your best.
49. You can never have too many diapers, wipes, pacifiers, bottles, and burp rags.
50. Be prepared to love your little more than itself.