Fighting the Fertility Wars
Whether you are just starting out on your great adventure to create your family or are a bit scraped and bruised from the trip so far I wanted to take this opportunity and share with you a little story.
In a fertility office far away, there was a novice couple on their path to making a baby, who fell into an unknown world. Unbeknownst to them as to what the fates had in mind for them they became filled with fear. After all, all they wanted was a baby of their own and they were thrown into a place of sterile tables and cold instruments. It seemed a fog had come over them and they felt lost not only on the outside but also on the inside too … Trying to navigate themselves through the denseness of their circumstances they panicked.
Then something reminded them to use their internal force to bring them to clarity.
So, can you tell that we watched the Star Wars Trilogy over the holiday break? All the while I was watching Luke, Leia, and Han Solo I was making the comparison to that of our fertility journey.
We had a clear mission, which was to determine what was necessary to achieve pregnancy, and also something else very similar to the heroes and heroine of Star Wars… the force or our faith.
Albert Einstein’s quote shows us that we have two distinct portions of our mind … the intuitive and the rational mind.
“The Intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
Sticking with the Star Wars analogy as it applies to “fertility wars” calling upon both the rational and intuitive minds to help you navigate through this journey is a must. In my experience, using or relying on your intuitive faith can be the most productive way of approaching this situation.
You might be thinking what was this lady drinking while she was watching all those movies?
Let me share with you what I know now that I wished I knew then. It is critical to take time to listen to the intuitive part of you and do so through your faithful servant… your rational mind creating the balance of intuition and faith.
Case In Point:
I remembered being asked by my husband and my doctor to move forward and begin a treatment cycle “because I wasn’t getting any younger” and they felt as though “I was dragging my feet” to get started with an IVF cycle.
Each and every time I asked myself or turned inward to my “faith aka force” I felt instantly a sense of “not yet” and as challenging as it was I listened to this sense and waited
Which brings me to The Fertility Game Plan. Mark and I came to an agreement through the written word by creating our fertility game plan. This tiny piece of paper held the faith for me on the days that the intuitive vs. rational mind war was too much for me. It outlined our plan to create our family including breaks, dates and what each of our souls’ needed during this time.
Okay, humor me, bringing back the Star Wars analogy, remember the scene where they are all huddled into the “operation” room and the teams are getting their orders, and then all get in their jets?
Try thinking of you and your partner, as a fleet and each of you need the fertility game plan to get the direct hit! When it came down to the crucial moment of the journey Luke used the force to make the direct hit, He took a deep breath, shut his eyes, and listened inward to Obi Wan’s voice “Use the force Luke.”
So as you begin 2010! I am asking you to use your faith (aka force) and perhaps try these two strategies a new approach to the family creation journey.
1) Be curious about your two minds as Albert Einstein referred to them in his quote. The rational mind (aka the fruitful servant) and the Intuitive Mind (aka sacred gift). Practice listening and connecting to each as you move forward. Are you a slave to your rational mind? Do you hear your intuition about this situation? If so, are you using it? Or do you rely solely on your servant?
2) Create a Fertility Game Plan! This one exercise made our journey more manageable and livable. I promise the time and effort you put into the creation of your fertility game plan will be well spent.
May the Faith be with you!
Written by Kristen Magnacca, author of Love and Infertility, published at FertilityTies.com