Okay, you think things might be going well when your child comes home from the first year of college with good grades and good health … well hold on.
Allow him four days off, and clearly communicate this, before he is expected to start looking for a job. This seems simple enough.
Four Days Pass …
Okay that is normal because the earth turns and rotates around the sun ... everyone still sane and moderately happy.
Just a note: No one can walk in the laundry room and none of the laundry from college has been done, but it is not mine, so I am going to be quiet.
Fifth Day Arrives …
Job seeking college student sleeps until 11a.m. Okay those finals were hard and he did get good grades—stay calm—he does get up shower, shave, gets a haircut, and applies to one place of employment. Lesson learned here: clearly specify the number of places he should attempt to provide an application to in a day.
Discussion time: Ambivalently received by college student. Parent kind of pissed off, but the day goes on because of the earth and sun spinning thing. Final agreement is three applications in person or online, must be executed per day.
Just a note: Twist ankle in laundry room trying to do my own laundry because college students (stinky) stuff is in same drop spot—stay quiet—focus on the job. Just take a pill with the second glass of wine.
Sixth Day College Student …
Three applications executed; two on-line and one in person.
Lesson learned here: Clearly specify that amount of time per day that should be spent on the job hunt.
Discussion time: Not well received by college student; college student feels parent arbitrarily changes the agreement. Parent doesn’t give a shit. The day goes on because of that crappy earth sun relationship. New (not final,) another lesson learned. Agreement is to spend at least three hours a day looking for a job.
Seventh Day …
College student attends job fair at Starbucks. Apparel for interview: striped short sleeve polo shirt, jeans (frayed), and leather flip-flops. Parent: “What are you going to wear for the job fair?” Student: “This … this is it—nobody dresses up for Starbucks.” Student gives the “eye” because parent is mentally limited with archaic thoughts of dressing well, appearance, and such crap that hiring employers don’t look for, “… anymore Mom,” … life has changed and I am now very old. Parent: “Could you at least trim off the white frayed threads from the bottom of your pants, where they drag on the ground?” Student: “Yeah, I can do that for you, but you are the only person I know that looks at stuff like that.” Student leaves for job fair. In his car filled with gas and insured by guess who? I think you might know this one.
Discussion time: Cancelled by parent. Reason? “Discussion times” appear to be a “no value added experience.”
Parent Options: Cry, laugh hysterically, and then cry, take pills, drink wine, all of the above, none of the above. Parent: “I should be happy because look at all the options I have.” Choose alternate option: Listen to Van Morrison’s version of “Days Like This” (just set to repeat until in a daze—dreaming of times gone by). And by the way in the song the lyrics claim that “Momma told me they’d be days like this” well, my momma did not tell me they’d be days like this and it is probably a good thing for the college student that she didn’t.
Lesson learned here: The sun earth relationship is still going on and my relationship is in the … use your own bad word here.
Mantra for tomorrow: Be in the moment every moment.