As the Grandmother of four children I have seen so many changes since my children were young and they are all frightening. When my son was a teen and giving me problems I could go to the State for help. Now they say there are no funds to help families.
My fourteen year old Grandson is using drugs. He curses his parents, he hits his parents and siblings and there is not one thing they can do. Last week there were six police officers standing in the yard while this boy cursed his father and them. They said right in front of the boy that he had freedom of speech and there was nothing they could do. Ok have none of these officers ever watched “Cops?” Why is it that if an adult spits at cops and curses them they can slam them to the ground and put hand cuffs on them and if they resist they can taze them. But anyone under the age of 18 has freedom of speech? That is so lame. And so unfair. Where do you turn when a child is out of control now? No where. Because he is using drugs there are no Christian facilities that will take him.
So I came up with the great idea to Baker Act him. He was threatening suicide. He told me on the phone and he said it to his father. Guess what. He has to say it in front of an officer of the court. Give me a break. He can sit in school all day and not pick up a pencil or write his name on his paper. He can sit there all day and sleep. And they do nothing unless he becomes so disruptive that the rest of the class cannot do their work. Then the parent has to come and get him. That’s what he wants, He wants to go home. He wants to sleep all day so he can run the roads all night. He is fourteen.
My son’s wife has left him. She cant live with this child anymore and will not even allow him in her home. The other three children want to live with their father but one by one have also moved out to go to the mothers house who keeps sending them back to him because none of them will show her any respect. That is a whole different story but I don’t blame any one of them. She does not deserve to be respected as a mother but as an adult I say yes, they should show respect. These four children are being bounced back and forth like rag dolls. And the system will not do anything.
Neither parent has custody of the children. Yet, the mother can refuse to allow her son to live with her and if the father says the same thing he can go to jail for child abandonment because the mother did it first. I offered the child a home last week. He would have to move four states away from his family and friends and he had to get a hair cut and get counseling. I was willing to pay for the counseling, I was willing to give him love and security for the first time in his life and the words he gave his loving grandmother were “I am not cutting my F---ing hair or seeing no F---ing doctor and you cant make me go to school.” That was like a light switch being turned on in my head to me. He is absolutely right, I can’t make him do anything. Including coming into my home to abuse me and my husband. So I withdrew the offer until he is ready to show respect.
I know my fourteen year old grandson will end up in jail or dead. I have to live with it. Because I spent four days on the phone with every authority in his state only to find out there is nothing they will do to help him. Yes, his father is a drug addict and alcoholic with very liberal views on life. Yes, his mother has mental problems, is an alcoholic and drug addict who will sleep with any man that walks by. Yes, the child has a right to be angry and is acting out the life he was raised in. Why? Because the system will not help him.
Every time I hear our prisons are so overcrowded they are having to release prisoners I cringe. Why? Because society helped create these criminals by not helping families who beg for help. I am a teacher and I gave it up because I cannot stand in a class room with a child who can curse me and there is nothing I can do but send them home to come back another day and curse me again. A child who can assault me and the system do nothing but expel them from school. A child who can one day walk into class and shoot me and every student in my class because the system refused to stop this child.
Today I am firing one hot letter off to the Chief of Police and the head of child protective services in his town. I am warning them in advance of what my fourteen year old grandchild is capable of and if they fail to act if he ever does do anything to harm someone else I will have the proof they were forewarned and will give who ever is involved the proof to sue them royally. Maybe if more people sued then the system would do more than get paid to sit behind a desk and say I don’t have the funds to do anything. You have an over inflated paycheck to sit there and say that. Do something before a class room full of children die.
The entire family is in crisis now because of one child. All of his siblings are afraid to go to sleep in the house with him. He has beat his parents and siblings and nothing is being done. He has threatened to kill them in his sleep and nothing is done. Since he was five years old and killed the family pet he has said he hears voices. The psychologist said he made it up and is just a spoiled child. The second psychologist said don’t bring him back there is nothing I can do if he wont take his medication but she did diagnose him as bipolar. I hate to tell her this but bipolar doesn’t hear voices. Wrong diagnoses. Now you can’t force him to go to a doctor. The police said so, they said if you hold him down and cut his hair you can be charged with assault. If you hold him down in the car and drag him to the doctor you can be charged with assault.
I say bring him to me. I am ready willing and able to go to jail if it will save his siblings lives and the life of other innocent victims he will eventually have in his life. But they cant force him to come here either. That is child abuse. Something is just not right here and the scales are not balanced right.