Great Parents Are Out There!
I am sixty-six years old. So, if you follow me back I was a “little girl” in the 1950s. I was a bright and very inquisitive little gal. I loved outdoor games, in door games, puzzles, painting, and paper dolls. I even started drawing house floor plans at eleven. Sounds like I had a real good childhood, right? Remember, it is the ’50s and absolutely few parents were interested in what there kids thought and less in what they felt. No one ever encouraged me in these areas. If I painted, I had made a mess. If I drew a house plan, I wasted paper; and if I played in a tree I heard it was unladylike and I had ruined my clothes. Parents did know what they had!
My happiness today is I see little evidence of the ’50’s parenting. My daughter listens to how her boys feel about what they are involved in. When the boys want to paint, she has the paint and plenty of paper and a place they can be creative and not “messy!” I see it in the grocery stores and Wal-Mart. Parents really trying to meet the kids’ need. They solve so many crying problems children have by planning ahead for what will help that child make it through a dull time.
The old styles are still out there. A few still hit their children, which is the saddest event I ever witness. You are in your action saying to that child “you deserve to be hit;” it is like saying, “You are a slave.” But I rush to say again, the great parents are out there are growing in number every day. There is a line; giving the child everything he wants and giving him what he needs. Children and adults need to know they are of value. They need positive, patient words and actions for those who they will ultimately imitate. I quote a noted psychologist: “All feelings are acceptable, all behavior is not.”
So hang in there you “great parents.” You are doing all the right things. It wont make parenting a whole lot less frustrating, but done sincerely will produce children who turn into responsible adults. And after all, that is our goal.