Having a Child of My Own
When I was a child I was never the type to dream of the white picket fence with a family and a dog. Well, maybe the dog part. But now I’m older and I am with someone that has made me change my mind all my childhood fantasies.
After about the first year of being with him I knew I wanted us to share the experience of having a family and raising our own children. Well it’s officially three years and come February we will have our first baby together. I’m absolutely stoked! But with pregnancy comes so many more emotions and worries. I had been advised my whole life to nod have kids until your ready and wait until you have made it to a point in your life where you are capable of providing for them. I totally agree with every word my family preached, but I have been hard-headed since day one and now I see for myself just how expensive having a baby can be. I really didn’t realize just how much stuff world have to be bought.
It gets exciting as you see the little room fill up with changers, clothes, swings, and cribs but anxiety never seems too far. Anxiety sets in from the bills, the constant worry of will everything be ready by the time the baby gets here. Will we be good parents? Is everything going to be covered while I’m on maternity leave? Will we find a good daycare? Are we going to be able to afford day care? Should I breast feed or bottle feed? Will delivery be okay? And the list goes on and on. Then there is the sacrifice that you realize afterwards. You start to realize just how much your body is being pushed to it’s limits, and how stretch marks spread like a wild fire, and heartburn lingers for days. Luckily, I passed the nausea stage but even with these ups and downs I would never change the fact of giving life to a beautiful baby girl. I know she is going to be worth every sacrifice and every, “pain in my side.”
Do I wish I would have listened and waited like my parents preached why yes I do. But six months into the pregnancy and I think I am more physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared to take on the task of motherhood and with excitement in my voice I’m glad to say tank to the man I love and thank you for changing my childhood dream of only being the crazy lady with a thousand dogs and not cats. I can’t wait to start our little family and continue our future.