Okay, it’s early days. After nearly two years of trying and a barrage of medications, I am finding it hard to keep a secret. We’re finally expecting, twins actually. And yeah, they are most likely a result of the medications as neither of us are related to any twins. I try to keep quiet, as I’m not quite two months along and it is too soon to make announcements.
However, we’ve each told our families and select close friends. This is helpful to me, as it explains to everyone close to me why I’ve been sleeping nearly round the clock for weeks. Still, I know it’s early days. It is hard not to worry. Those two flashy heartbeats on the sonogram were magical and made my husband choke back tears. It would break my heart for this to end abruptly.
Every day I nurture my hope. I want this. I want them to stay with me, and grow healthy and strong. I don’t have a god to pray to, so I just talk to them. I wouldn’t say I beg, but I certainly cajole. I am finding in these early days, between sleep, constant nausea, medication, and disgusting prenatal vitamins that it is hope that keeps me going.