I have been asked this question I bet a hundred thousand times. This is the hardest question to answer because parents are looking for a concrete right stone answer. There just isn’t one. There is no certain pattern you can look for. No certain person. No certain place.
These people have spent their entire life perfecting their craft. They are just never who we think they are. They are smarter than most parents because they have been in hiding so long. They tend to be paranoid and always watching. However this is not a fact and does not in any way give you any clue to who they are. Because people who do things wrong are paranoid to. But there is one common thread. They all know the child. They themselves have certain things they look for. These things make them believable and the children liars. You can never directly confront a child molester. He will not tell you the truth ever. You have to believe your child.
I have long put this question to task. So people know what to do to keep their children out of the hands of molesters. But people just seem to not really care. If it takes to much time or too much effort then they abandon the idea all together. They never understand that they are abandoning their children’s safety. So many people just turn their head and say hey I have a handle on my children. It’s up to the rest of the parents to do the same. Nothing could be more wrong.
It is up to all of us to keep each others children safe all of us. And it is getting harder and harder to keep them safe.
I am often amazed that even family members once they know will turn a blind eye to this person. And act as if they never did anything wrong and often not believing that they did. Putting their own children at risk. And never asking a question. Choosing rather to not be involved at all and never think to ask their own children if this person ever touched them. It seems that everyone turns a blind eye. Nobody seems to understand it’s about keeping our children safe further more they do not seem to care one bit.
People will stand in disbelief when a person kills a child or kidnaps a child. They will say we should have seen this. I should have watched a little more. This is all good and fine but do it now. And people if you see a child in distress for heavens sake step in. Stop that child from being hurt. Smoky the bears says only you can prevent forest fire. I say only we can keep all of our children safe and its truly a challenge and an even bigger commitment than one person can shoulder to keep our children out of the hands of these people who seek to destroy them for their own sick pleasure. People say how can I know.
But if you look at us and listen to our stories there are some common threads. That can be seen. For example:
There are things you can look for. You have to pay attention to your child. Young children tend to be believed more than older. Small changes in a child’s life will be seen by an attentive mother. If the child resists going around a certain person. If they shy away from a certain well known family member. In older children it comes out as acting out. Their life will show little changes you will see them. Its time to start paying attention to our children period. This seems to be ever evolving. And with more cases showing everyday of older children being hurt and molested. It points to one thing a lack of involvement by the parents mainly the mother sorry girls but it does point that way.
It seems that women’s liberation may be part of the reason.