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It Slices, It Dices, It Mesmerizes

During the bottomless pit of holiday downtime with its endless snacking, lack of routine, and overuse of the TV as a babysitter, my oldest daughter became hooked on several “as seen on TV” products.

She insisted I buy the Betty Crocker cake decorating set so I could make her a flower cake for her birthday.

She ran to me one afternoon pleading, “Mommy come look, come look at this purse! Quick! Quick! You’re going to miss it! It holds everything and you can find anything!”

She begged for Moon Sand, with glitter no less. You could sell cardboard boxes to a 5-year-old girl if they came with glitter.

I blew all this off as a testament to the powerful allure of TV commercials.

The other night she was straightening up her room (she was prolonging bedtime but who am I to argue with her willingly cleaning her room) and I told her I might buy a bulletin board to display her photos and school certificates and other special papers.

“Mommy what’s a bulletin board?”

“Well, it’s a place to hang things like pictures and special school papers. We could hang one on the back of your door.”

“But how would you hang it? There’s no hanger there.”

“Well I’d get daddy to hang it up with a nail or something like that.”

She paused for a moment as her five-year-old mind spun into overdrive. Her eyes grew wide as she had a revelation.

“Mommy! You need to get some Mighty Putty. It holds anything!”

That Billy Mays is one slick peddler.

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