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Kid Logic

Here are a list of things in the point of view of a child.

Helping—standing under mom’s feet while she cooks dinner, or in front of her, between her hands, whilst  pushing a shopping cart.

Honesty—not answering when you ask them “why did you pour that all over your sister?” because lying is wrong or being completely frank when telling you what you look like.

Ingenuity—coloring tights pink because they aren’t the color you think they should be.

Art—a popsicle stick statue or painted picture, that when you ask them, will be something totally different from day to day.

Sharing—AHHHHHH! they’re touching my toys! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Okay, but only if I can play with it first.

Fashion—a pink tutu over green corduroy pants, with a yellow shirt, twenty hair accessories, and rainbow socks.

Comedy—the wide array of knock knock jokes with absolutely no meaning.

Healthy food—Pizza. “It has all the food groups mom!”

Money—that stuff is infinite.

A great afternoon—playing a game with your friends that adds a new rule every two minutes.

Music—singing Christmas songs in the middle of the summer.

Bathroom ettiquette—“Don’t look at me!” while using the toilet with the door wide open and joining mom whilst she uses it because she NEEDS someone there to keep her company because “She’ll miss me if she’s all alone.”

Yesterday—everyday of the last month and a half.

Grandparents—those people who bring presents every time they come over and get us really excited and then leave us with those people that make us stop playing and go to bed

Cuisine—any food from a fast food restaurant.

Time—two hours is not nearly enough to play out in the mud and five minutes is way too long to sit still ANYWHERE.

Furniture—stuff to use as jungle gym equipment.

Danger—huh?

Chores—the world has come to an end!

Dinner—the food that magically appears in front of me every night. A fairy just poofs it there, right?

Sleepiness—”NUH-UH! I’m not tired!” *yawn

Other people’s belongings—so much more interesting than their own.

Camera—that thing you make goofy faces in when mom is trying to get a family picture.

Blankets—a place to hide so no one can find them, and great for making tents,but most of all—capes!

Sex—when mom and dad sleep in the same bed.

The Floor—the best place to be for anything, while wearing nice clothes.

Shirt—ready access napkin for all food on the face and tissue for the nose.

Pots and pans—musical instruments.

Walls—artistic canvases.

Parent’s bed—the place to be.

Pets—those things we get because they’re cute that mom or dad will take care of when I get bored of it.

Grocery store—the forum in which to make announcements of new words such as penis, people need to know this!


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