#Love & Sex
Dating Etiquette Advice to Calm Your First Date Jitters
by Rebecca Boneschans
Dating can be hard, especially if you’re unsure of modern dating etiquette. We talked with Rachel Dack, a licensed therapist and relationship counselor, and Kimi Avary, a relationship expert and founder of Conscious Couples Network, to help us sift through the trials of a first date and put our best foot forward.
You snagged a date with a potentially great guy, but now you’re so nervous you can’t sit still. That’s normal. Nerves and anxiety are a normal part of the process, according to relationship experts Kimi Avary and Rachel Dack. Follow their dating etiquette advice to get your first date right. Here’s how.
If you find yourself sliding into a free fall of jumbled nerves before that first date, this may very well be the most important piece of dating etiquette advice you’ll get. Avary suggests pampering yourself before heading out on that first date to eliminate jitters. “Nurture yourself before the date by taking a hot bath and listening to music that inspires you,” she says. If you don’t have time for a bath or a day for pampering, she suggests changing out of your work clothes and into something that makes you feel more like a woman.
One old-school dating rule still stands true today. If he asked you out, let him plan the date. “Let him be the man and take care of getting you to the place, handling the table, and ordering,” Avary says. “It lets a man know that you’re willing to let him contribute to your well-being.”
Once you’ve soothed your nerves and find yourself seated across from your date, get your head out of the clouds and be realistic. Dack says to be sensible on the first date when you’re trying to make a connection. “You’re not going to know right away if he’s the one,” she says.
In order to make a connection, you really have to listen to what he’s saying. Sure, you may have googled his name, stalked his Facebook page, and scrolled through his Twitter feed, but that doesn’t mean you know his story. Rather than using social media to shape your impression, let him tell you who he is. Ask questions, be inquisitive, and keep the conversation moving forward. Take care when talking with your date to be present and attentive. This is where you should drop any distractions, including your phone. The goal of a first date is to establish potential, so put aside any ideas of posting a status update during your date. The “like” isn’t worth what you might have to gain.
Dack suggests leaving your date wanting more, including the goods. If you really want the date to progress into a relationship, forgo first date sex. There’s a better chance you’ll snag a second date.