#Love & Sex

Decoding Guy-Speak

by Sara Eckel

Decoding Guy-Speak

Technically, you and your man both speak English. And certain phrases — “Would you pass the salt?” “Do you know where the remote is?” — can pass between you without ambiguity. But let’s face it, the language of love can sometimes get confusing. We’ve compiled a list of some of men’s most cryptic statements, as well as questions that will help you uncover the real deal.


“My home phone isn’t working, so call me on my cell.”



What He Could Mean: “I don’t want you calling my house.”
What You Should Ask: “Are you already in a relationship with someone else?”
“You have to be able to ride out these little corrections.”



What He Could Mean: “I lost everything in the stock market.”
What You Should Ask: “Do you consider yourself a gambler by nature?”


“My marriage is essentially over.”



What He Could Mean: “I want to have an affair.”
What You Should Ask: “Does your wife know this?” “Have you taken formal steps toward divorce?”


“Women are too picky.”



What He Could Mean: “Women don’t like me.”
What You Should Ask: “Why didn’t your last relationships work out?”


“I’ll have to check my schedule for next Saturday.”



What He Could Mean: “I’m waiting to see if a better offer comes along.”
What You Should Ask: “Would you rather wait and get together when you’re not so busy?”


“I’m afraid of commitment.”



What He Could Mean: “I’d like to continue sleeping with you, but not if it means I have to stop seeing other women.”
What You Should Ask: “Do you want to try and overcome this fear?”


“So it’s me. I’m calling you.”



What He Could Mean: “I don’t particularly want to talk, but I want to get credit for calling.”
What You Should Ask: “Would you rather talk another time?” or “I get the feeling that you’re calling because you think that you should and not because you want to, is that true?”


“So my parents are having this barbecue, and I was wondering if you’d like to come.”



What He Could Mean: “I’m madly in love with you.”
What You Should Ask: “Have you told your parents about us?”


“That guy is a big phony.”



What He Could Mean: “I’m totally jealous that you were talking to that tall, handsome man at the party.”
What You Should Ask: “Were you upset that I talked to him for so long?”


“It’s not you, it’s me.”



What He Could Mean: “It’s you.”
What You Should Ask: “Have we been moving too fast?” or “Have you met someone else?”


“I’d like to cook you dinner at my place.”



What He Could Mean: “I’d like to dazzle you with what a caring, nurturing renaissance man I am, so that you’ll have sex with me.”
What You Should Ask: “How important is emotional involvement to you prior to being sexual?”


“I need some space.”



What He Could Mean: “I’m about to break up with you” or “I’ve realized that I’m crazy about you and it’s freaking me out.”
What You Should Ask: Nothing. Give him his space, and let him figure it out.


“My children are very important to me, and I need to be with a woman who understands that.”



What He Could Mean: “My children are my first priority.”
What You Should Ask: “Can you imagine a woman being your top priority while you’re still raising your children?”


“You’re not a feminist, are you?”



What He Could Mean: “I’m threatened by the fact that you don’t act like a complete doormat.”
What You Should Ask: “Do you have a problem with independent women?”


“You remind me of that girl from Sex and the City.”



What He Could Mean: “… and I’m really hoping you share her same liberal attitude about casual sex.”
What You Should Ask: “What do you think of that character?”


“How long ago was your last relationship?”



What He Could Mean: “Please give me your entire relationship resume, so I can determine if you’re a worthy candidate.”
What You Should Ask: “Why is that important to you?”


“I just want to be friends.”



What He Could Mean: “I don’t find you attractive anymore.”
What You Should Ask: “Would you kindly remove your stuff from my apartment?”


“You look great in that dress.”



What He Could Mean: “The party started half an hour ago, can we please leave already?”
What You Should Ask: “Are you just saying that to get me out the door?”


How to Date a Guy With Kids



So, you’re dating a guy with kids. You know things are more complicated with children in the picture, but just how complicated are they?